What Comes Next
by cnflood
Summary: Iris Roberts has worked for Stark Industries for 6 years. She has a extremely involved family, who love her very much. She is friends with and greatly respects Pepper Potts. Her relationship with Tony Stark is love/hate at best. When Tony causes a small panic within the company, Iris meets people who will bring her out of routine and allow her to start living her life again.
1. Chapter 1

**Thank you for reading my first fanfic! Please send me reviews or comments of my story so I know what you like and don't like.**

**Full Name:**_**Iris Naomi Roberts**_

**Nicknames/Alternate Names: **_None_

**Hair Color: **_**Light Brown**_

**Eye Color: **_**Blue Green**_

**Distiguishing Features: **_**Well Defined Cupid's Bow Lips**_

**Height: **_**5'6"**_

**Weight: **_**150lbs**_

**Birthmarks/Scars: **_**Right Thigh: Thin branching scar on the right thigh running the length of her thigh**_

_**Right Palm/Wrist/Forearm: Thin Branching scar obtained at the same time as one on thigh.**_

**Ch.1 The Road So Far**

_My name is Iris Naomi Roberts. I was born at St. Mary's Hospital in New York City. My father was married to my mother, meaning that they got divorced after by I was born. _

_ My father is Dr. James Roberts who is currently the Head of Oncology at St. Mary's Hospital. He was married to my mother Elizabeth Montgomery, who is currently Head of International Law for the United Nations as well as teaching a couple of Law classes at NYU. At 59, she is currently the youngest Legal Department head the UN has ever had. _

_I have two older brothers, an older sister, and twin younger brothers. My oldest brother is 35, and his name is Dr. Michael Roberts he is currently working for the World Health Organization in their infectious disease unit. His wife Lyla died in a car accident 2 Years ago. He has 5 year old twin boys Luke and David. Michael loves his children and our entire family. He is the stereotypical over protective big brother not so much for my older sister but for me._

_Next is Joshua, 30, more commonly known as Josh or JT. He is currently starring in a revival of Le Mis on Broadway. He isn't married and has had a long string of socialite girlfriends that my parents have hated to no-end. He is the one to always make me smile and laugh, when no one else can._

_Then there is my sister Mary. She is 29 years old. She had been married to David for 8 years. They married each other at the end of their junior year of College at NYU, they are perfect together. Their oldest child Anna was born 2 days before Mary and David's 5 year wedding anniversary. Their son James was born 18 months later. _

_Almost a year to the day after Mary was born, I made my first appearance into the world. I am 28 years old and unmarried, much to the chagrin of my parents. When I was in college I met and fell in love with an airman my freshman year. He was 4 years older than I was, but I didn't care. His name was Roger Ellis. He was funny, kind, caring and brave. We got engaged and set a date 2 days after I graduated College. We were going to get married 3 weeks after his return from Iraq. We didn't get the chance. My grandmother always told me "If you want to see God laugh tell him your plans." Roger was shot out of the sky 2 months into his tour of duty. I was devastated. I had lost the single most important person in my life in a matter of seconds. I didn't genuinely laugh or smile for months after he died. 6 months after Roger's death, I made myself a promise that I would never fall in love with anyone that could be taken away from me ever again; since everyone will die eventually and be taken away from me why fall in love at all. It's been a little over 5 years since he died, and I still miss him very much._

_Last but certainly not least are my 16 year old Twin brothers Noah and Isaac. I know what you're thinking 12 years is a fairly large age gap between children. And you are perfectly correct in the assumption that my younger brothers were not planned. So here is how that story goes, my parents separated but did not get divorced when I was 5 years old. My Father officially lived in our Riverdale home with us, while unofficially staying in his Chelsea apartment to be closer to work. As I am sure you can guess my siblings and I lived with my mother in Riverdale. My parents had a very friendly separation, they still loved their children and loved each other for being a biological part of us, but were no longer "in love" with each other. My father after the separation only really lived at our Riverdale home during the holiday season. The Christmas of 1999, when I was 12 years old my parents were finally filing for divorce, and had decided to stay up late talking it over with a couple of glasses of wine. One thing led to another and 6 months later my parents were divorced and 3 months after that my twin brothers were born. Noah and Isaac are quite possibly the sweetest boys you will ever meet. They are also the most aggravating boys you will ever meet. But then again I might be a little biased._

_Now if you have done the math you have figured out that my siblings and I were born and raised while both my parents were still in school and beginning their careers. You are probably thinking that we were raised by nannies or something similar, but that couldn't be farther from the truth. Our parents were very involved in our upbringing, but for the times that they couldn't be there my Nana Iris took care of us. Did you catch the name? Yep, that's right my grandmother is my namesake. She is the kindest woman I have ever had the chance of meeting. She has this no nonsense attitude mixed with charm, grace, and wit that makes everyone love her almost instantaneously. She is also extremely stubborn and almost always gets her way. It is one of the most entertaining sights in the world to see this little 82 year old, 5'4" woman argue with someone twice her size and get her way. And she does it all with the kindest smile imaginable on her face. _

_Now that you have heard all about my family I assume your next question will be what I do for a living. My official title is Head Business Administrator for the CEO of Stark Industries. What that means is that I make sure that all necessary materials for high level meetings have been gathered, all paperwork that needs an actual signature and not just the autopen have been signed, and make sure that all departments within Stark Industries run smoothly and send me their weekly briefings so that I can brief the CEO of what is going on in the Company when needed. My job when I first started was a little more complicated because there were three people I had to prepare briefings for Obadiah Stane, Pepper Pots, and JARVIS. Obadiah because he was chairman of the board of directors, really the only person on the board directors. Pepper Potts because Mr. Stark never kept consistent hours and you never knew when he was going to appear in the office. Pepper kept on top of things making sure Tony knew all the necessary factors about the company from my briefings. Finally JARVIS so that if Tony got bored and started looking through the company records, and then had questions or wanted answers without Ms. Potts around, JARVIS would have his answers._

_Now that Pepper Potts is the CEO of Stark Industries, my life has been made quite a bit easier. Pepper is more organized and more efficient than Tony Stark could ever have dreamed. While Tony is still involved in the company, he just gets his info from Pepper or has JARVIS tap into the system, which makes things so much easier. Not that I have anything against Tony Stark, he is arrogant and condescending at times, but is a genuinely good human being._

_That's my life so far. _

_This Story is what comes next._


	2. Chapter 2

**Here is the next chapter! I really hope you like the beginning of my story! Please review my story so that I can improve!**

Ch.2 Saturday Morning

Saturday, 12:30pm

The first thing that crosses my mind as I am ripped from my dreamless sleep of pure exhaustion, is that it better be later than I think it is. The very next thought is that I need to find and answer my phone. I blindly reach out for my phone and pick it up off my night stand with a practiced ease. I crack my eye open just enough to read the display, and then groan; loud, long, and full of frustration as I realize two things, 1) I have only gotten 5 hours of sleep and 2) in big black bolded letters the caller ID reads "**STARK INDUSTRIES"**, which means I have to answer it. As I sit up in my bed and look around my bedroom, I hit the answer button and try to say with as little annoyance as possible. "Hello, this is Iris."  
What I hear over the phone next is "Shit! Iris you were still sleeping weren't you!? I'm so sorry!" coming from a rather frantic sounding Pepper Potts.  
"Its fine Pepper, I know you wouldn't have called if it wasn't important." I say into the phone smiling as I can still hear her cursing quietly under her breath, as she is mumbling about someone being stupid and not knowing how to run a company.  
I decide to take a shot in the dark and say, "What did Mr. Stark do this time that I need to fix?" I say this smiling because most frantic Saturday morning phone calls are generally made to ask me to fix a problem. Although it has become a rarity for it to be a problem caused by Tony.  
"It will be easier to show you than to explain it over the phone. Can you please come in, I know today is supposed to be your day off, but I really need you here, and … "Pepper answers and then starts to ramble as she has a tendency to do when she is anxious and stressed.  
I cut Pepper off before she can ramble too much and ask "Can you give me an hour, wait, no make that and hour and a half to shower, get dressed, and get there?" While asking this I hit the power button on my coffee maker so that it will have my coffee ready as soon as I am out of the shower.  
You can hear some of the tension has left her voice as she says "YES! Thank you so, so much, Iris. You are a life saver!"  
I tell her it's not a problem and that I will be there as soon as I can.

When I get off the phone I hop in the shower, without giving it time to heat-up, hoping that the ice like water will help me wake up some more. As I lather up my hair, my curiosity has been peaked as to what would have Pepper in such a panic this early on a Saturday. I continue to ponder this question throughout my shower, and carry it over into my other morning rituals. As I finish putting the final touches on my make-up, I look at the phone and realize I have finished my routine in 45 minutes. I smile to myself and take a minute to take in my appearance. I am wearing a pair of black low heel pumps with a rounded toe. When I had first started my job I had practically lived in high heels, but had been quickly been broken of that habit. My black slacks were not exceptionally tight but they fit me well, my mother would have said they were "well-tailored to my form". I wore a light coral silk blouse with the top two buttons undone and a white lace camisole underneath. Lastly none of my outfits were not complete without the rose gold locket my grandmother had given me on a silver platinum chain that I had received on my 18th birthday. I had put my hair up in a ballerina bun, and put on a light amount of makeup and I was ready to go.

I walked out into my kitchen grabbed the thermos that held my coffee, as well as my purse/side sling, my phone and keys then headed for the door. I stepped out of my Hell's Kitchen brownstone and walked a couple blocks towards Central Park to hail a cab and headed towards Stark/Avenger's Tower. The journey from my apartment to Avenger's Tower on a good day took about 20 minutes and on a bad day could take anywhere from 45 minutes to an hour depending on traffic. It was looking like today was going to be a good day. I spent most of my time on the journey to the tower looking out the window, watching as people seemed to be enjoying the beautiful day. New York was finally getting back to normal after the Battle of New York as the new stations called the alien invasion. Almost everything was rebuilt or was just a few weeks from finishing. Avenger's Tower had been one of the first building finished, thanks to Mr. Stark's money.

As the taxi was approaching Grand Central, traffic started to slow down. I heard the driver radioing ahead trying to figure out what was going on, right as I saw what I assumed was the military standing guard outside the tower. As I realized just how big a problem Pepper was having, I reached forward and tapped the driver on the shoulder and said "Just let me out here I need to get to Avenger's Tower."  
"You sure you want to do that Hun? It looks like a zoo up there" the driver said looking over his shoulder.  
"Unfortunately, that zoo is my job." I clipped sarcastically. I gave the driver the money I owed him along with a nice tip. Then hopped out of the taxi, and started walking briskly through traffic. As I got closer to the tower I realized that it wasn't the military but a hired security force keeping out the very official looking government men in black suits. Once the front doors were in my line of sight I saw Happy walking out of them to greet me, his normal flustered appearance seemed slightly more flustered than normal which is never a good sign. The first words out of his mouth once I was within speaking distance were, "It's about time you got here."  
I just laughed and sarcastically shot back, "Why, Happy it's wonderful to see you as always." I smiled at him almost mockingly as he held open the door for me.  
Without giving him a chance to speak again I asked, "What's with the small army standing guard outside? I figured with the Avenger's in residence security wouldn't be a problem?"  
Happy just gave a chuckle and said "You'll see." I clipped on my ID badge and waited as Happy pressed the elevator call button.  
Once on the elevator I was greeted by JARVIS saying, "Welcome Ms. Roberts. Ms. Potts is waiting for you on the HR floor."  
"Any chance you can tell me what's going on JARVIS?" I wondered hopefully.  
"I'm sorry Ms. Roberts, but both Mr. Stark and Ms. Potts have asked that you not be told anything until you talk to them in person." JARVIS replied just as the elevator arrived on the HR floor. I held my breath as I waited for the doors to open.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you to everyone who has read my story! I really appreciate you giving it a shot!**

**I would like to make one request, once you get finished reading this chapter, if you wouldn't mind giving me some feedback by giving it a little review! I would really appreciate it.**

_**Previously on What Comes Next.**_

_I held my breath as I waited for the doors to open._

Ch.3 What Did You Do!?

I partially knew what to expect when the doors opened, because I knew the layout of this floor. When you first step out onto the floor you are greeted by the HR receptionists Arielle and Jessica, if you have an appointment with the HR supervisor assigned to your department they direct you to their office, those offices are located on the Lower Concourse. But if you are a Department Head, their deputy, or above you are directed to the Upper Concourse to meet with the Head of Human Resources whose name is Linda Thomas. She is a ruthless, intelligent, but kind woman. She has been working at Stark Industries longer than anyone, including Tony. She started as an Executive assistant to the Head of Human Resources, and was promoted upon her boss's retirement, because no one knew the job better than her. Scattered throughout both the Upper and Lower concourses are sitting areas with cream colored leather couches and chairs, along with the obligatory coffee table with outdated magazines.

The HR floor is usually one of the few floors that is calm, welcoming, and warm. When the elevator doors opened this time I was hit with a wall of tension. I stepped out with Happy at my side and looked around trying to find the source of the tension when I spotted Pepper Potts walking with determination towards me from the direction of the stairs. Before I could even ask what was going on I was pulled into a hug by the tall woman.  
The first utterance out of her mouth was "Thank you!" quickly followed by "I'm so sorry about this." As she walked away from me back towards to stairs leading to Linda's office. I followed quickly behind her, while looking around trying to figure out what was happening. All I saw were groups of people huddled together whispering and looking worried. As I walked past the reception desk Jessica and Arielle gave me small tense smiles that caused me to worry even more.

I finished mounting the stairs and froze in my tracks. Of all the things I had expected to see today, this was not one of them. Standing in front of me was the entirety of the Avengers. Earth's Mightiest Heroes. Tony was standing with his back towards me looking out the window over a rebuilt New York. Captain Rogers was sitting off to the left in one of the cream colored leather chairs next to Dr. Banner, they were talking quietly together. Agents Barton and Romanoff were leaning against the far right wall surveying the scene, and every now and then whispering something to the other making each other smile. Thor was talking rather animatedly with Linda, he was apparently regaling her with one of his many tails of life on Asgard. Once Pepper saw that I was standing beside her she cleared her throat to gain their attention. I smiled politely as I waited for Pepper to introduce me.  
"Everyone this is Iris Roberts. She is the Head Business Administrator for Stark Industries." Pepper said to introduce me. Tony turned around looked at me with a semi-serious look on his face, and walked over.  
The next thing I know Tony is standing in front of me with his arms open wide saying, "Iris! My favorite Stark Industries employee. You look absolutely fantastic today." I assume, he has seen my less than amused expression, and has turned around to rope the others to agreeing with him, thinking that this will pacify me. Tony jokingly said,  
"Does she not look gorgeous today guys? I mean really who can pull off no sleep like this woman can!" Pepper gave an exasperated sigh and looks over at me, her face pleading with me to cut him off before he gets into stride.  
Before he can draw his next breath I cut him off by saying, "What did you do Mr. Stark, and how much is it going to cost us to fix it?" Tony had to good sense not to look offended by what I said. He knows, on more than one occasion, I have had to clean up his messes for him.

There was a long silence before anyone spoke up.  
"Look it's not that bad." Tony sighs with a resigned, almost guilty look on his face.  
"Yeah, right. Not that bad. That's why you feel the need for the security force the size of a third world militia sitting on our doorstep." I quipped back at him. "And what is with the government guys in matching suits on the other side of the small army?" My question is met with virtual silence. From Tony that is, I can hear a few others chuckling as my annoyance with Tony grows.  
"Yeah, Stark. Why don't you try and explain that to the little lady?" Agent Barton says while trying to suppress his amusement.  
"If there is one thing I can't stand, it's when more than one person is involved and they try and put all the blame on one person." I say aloud while glaring at the shocked agent.  
"Look…" Barton tried to defend himself, but before he can get very far I cut him off again.  
"It's not that I don't believe Mr. Stark can't get himself in trouble. If this was just Mr. Stark's problem or fault it would just be him here. But by looking around the room and seeing that he is not the only one here, I am going to go ahead and say the blame lays equally on all of you." Once I am finished with my tirade I look around the room again and see many shocked and respectful looks.  
Tony looks equal parts amused, shocked, and grateful at my survey of the situation. He goes to say something but before he can, I say "Mr. Stark …"  
Before I can say anything else out, the man in question cuts in saying, "Please call me Tony."  
"For the moment _Mr. Stark_, I think what I always call you, is what I'll stick with until I figure out just what the hell is going on." I reply. I am now annoyed and confused, which I am sure you know is not a good feeling.  
Tony nods his head, says "Fair enough." and motions for everyone to converge at the seating area currently occupied by Capt. Rogers and Dr. Banner.

Once everyone who is going to sit is seated. Tony looks over at me and adjusts his posture, to the Tony Stark signature posture of "I'm going to give you bad news but play it off as no big deal" posture.  
"Look it's not that big a deal. The Avengers were invited to a meeting with the DOD at the pentagon. While we were all having a nice little chat, a certain Colonel, might have suggested that we, meaning Stark industries, needed to hand over all the personnel files on former SHEILD employees so that the military could keep an eye on them. Several of us thought it was a joke and told him it wasn't going to happen." Tony was watching me closely for my reaction.  
I turned to him and said, "If this was a case of a simple misunderstanding Mr. Stark, I wouldn't be here right now. What else was said?" I was trying to look as calm as possible because, I had a very bad feeling about what was going to be said next.  
"The Colonel might have said 'we will just have to see about that won't we?' to which there were several replies. The worst of which might on been 'I'm Iron Man, I have a tower more secure than Ft. Knox. If you think that you and the entire US Army can take what I don't want to give, you got more than a few screws loose." Tony said very nonchalantly.  
We all sat in silence for a while as I tried to gather my thoughts. I couldn't believe what I had just heard. Surely I had just had a stroke and my brain was playing tricks on me. I looked over my shoulder at Pepper, who was standing behind me for conformation that I had heard correctly. All I got was a tense, albeit sheepish nod.

I must say I did rather well not losing my temper up until this point. "Okay. If that's it Stark Industries wasn't involved to heavily since Mr. Stark isn't CEO anymore." I was thinking out loud at this point. I was starting to pace and formulate a plan when I head Pepper start to talk.  
"There is a little more you need to know. We, Linda and I, might have gotten a call from that same Colonel, and we might have told him to shove his request where the sun didn't shine." As Pepper said that I felt the last shreds of my sanity snap as what started as just me talking turned into me screeching at them.  
"I sorry, that can't be possible. The Pepper Potts and Linda Thomas, I know and love, COULD NOT BE THAT EMPTY HEADED!" I couldn't believe that Pepper and Linda of all people could have dragged us into this.  
"Tony didn't tell you everything. They wanted us to hand over Dr. Banner as well." Linda told me flatly. As soon as the words were finished leaving her mouth my outrage deflated. I didn't have much contact with the Avengers, except when it came to Dr. Banner. He was technically considered an employee and in charge of his own lab. So when I went around collecting the weekly briefings on what new things were going on in different departments, I always spent a few minutes talking to Dr. Banner. That man is one of the kindest, smartest, and all around most genuine men I had ever met. That was saying a lot coming from me.

"Oh." Was all I could say, I now understood why they had all reacted like they did.  
I took a breath and said, "I have two things to say. First, Pepper and Linda, I would like to apologize for yelling at you. Second, over my dead body, is the only way any government employee is getting their hands on our records or Dr. Banner." I then proceeded to turn on my heel and make my way back down the stairs and off the HR Floor.  
"Where do you think you're going?" Tony asked from the Upper Concourse. Surrounding him were the rest of the Avengers all looking equally confused.  
"You're a glorified Personal Assistant. What can you do?" scoffed Agent Romanoff, who until this point had been silent.  
I smiled up at the assembled group and simply stated "Both Tony Stark and Pepper Potts trust me to fix this. With my international connections and Tony's celebrity status and money, there isn't a whole hell of a lot I can't do." Agent Romanoff still didn't look impressed, I started to walk away, before deciding to make one last shot at winning her over.  
"This company is like my family, and Dr. Banner is my friend. I won't let anyone hurt them or take them away if I can help it." I waited for my words to sink in. Romanoff just nodded, as I walked away to do what I do best, fix problems.  
As I reached the elevator I saw Tony turn to Pepper and say "What did you do?! What happened the girl I had you hire 6 years ago?"  
Pepper just looked as him and laughed, "Tony you never hired a girl. You hired that woman, and just because you didn't see this side of her when you had me hire her, doesn't mean I didn't see it. It's why _**I **_hired _**her**_ for _**you**_. She is very good at her job."

I just smiled as I stepped onto the elevator, because Pepper was right I am very good at my job.

**Thank you for reading this next chapter! **

**PLEASE! please please please review!**


	4. Chapter 4

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**I Hope you enjoy this next chapter! (It's kind of a long one, hope that is alright!)**

Ch.4 How's My Favorite Colonel

Silence. This was the first time since I had made it back to my office that it had been silent all day. The sun has almost disappeared over the horizon. I have spent the last 5 or 6 hours trying out every contact I have in multiple governments trying to find a solution to this problem. I move my hand from where it has been resting on my stomach, up to my face and remove the now cold damp towel from my eyes. The throbbing behind my eyes had finally subsided and I was ready to face the world again. Exhaustion and frustration are all that it feels like I have left. I sigh as I stand up from my eggplant suede couch which resides against the inner frosted glass wall of my office.

I slowly make my way over to my picture wall, and look at the pictures of my family. My brother Michael and his wife and kids taken before the car crash took his wife from him; a couple frames over is a more recent picture of Michael and his family. There's the one of Josh at Noah and Isaac's first football game, Josh looks more than a little grossed out by all of the sweat and dirt, but he also looks extremely proud of his little brothers. The picture from last Christmas of Mom and Dad is one of my favorites. They look so happy, both of them are wearing those god awful Christmas sweaters, and Dad was wearing a Santa hat. My parents are the poster children, for how to do a divorce right. Off to the far right one of the pictures closets to the door of my office is what my sister Mary calls her families "oops" portrait. My sister loves the polished look of having professional pictures taken, she wants everyone to see how perfect and happy her family is to her. This picture in particular must have been taken when Anna, my niece, was 3 or maybe she had just turned 4. Anyway the photographer had set up his camera to take multiple shots at a time and the resulting pictures are hilarious. James has decided that he doesn't want his picture taken anymore and is sitting on his father's lap bawling his eyes out with his head thrown back. Anna looks like she is running around like the little hellion that she is, my sister looks like a frazzled preschool teacher whose class was given an injection of liquid sugar. While all this is going on my brother-in-law is sitting there looking at his crazy family with the most loving smile on his face. Scattered throughout these captured moments, are other equally cherished pictures of me and my family all in beautiful wood or silver frames. But there is one picture in a black nondescript frame, the picture is of a smiling man, beautiful and happy. It hangs close to the windows of my office, I try to not look at that picture.

I am broken out of my peaceful thoughts of family and happy times, by the ringing of my office phone.  
"This is Iris." I state, hoping that it will finally be good news.  
"So … Do you want the good news or the bad news, first?" asked Joey.  
I flop into my office chair with a very large huff and say, "Give me the bad news first."  
Joey laughs at my apathy and proceeds to draw out the torture with a bunch of complex computer mumbo-jumbo that I don't understand.  
"What?" I laughed because I know that the bad news, can in no way pertain to computers. Joey just likes to show off his computer science degree. Also he knows I get uncomfortable when I a faced with a bunch of information that is out of my depth.  
"Oh… that, that was nothing. Just trying to get you to laugh. I finally got through to the Jackass Supremes' office." Joey tells me.  
I sit there puzzled as to how getting ahold of Colonel Reynolds could be considered bad news.  
"But he is conveniently 'out of the office'" Joey continued. I am fairly certain they heard my frustrated groan across the pond in my mother's home country of England.  
"Okay, whatever he can't hide from us forever, and he knows that. So what is this good news I've heard so much about?" I try to sound as cheerful as possible because, it's not my assistant's fault that today is going so horribly. Since I had left the HR floor, I had spent all my time trying to find any legal course of action and had even pondered several less than legal courses of action. The illegal ones had been quickly scrapped except for one, and it looked like that one idea would be what I had to throw myself into now and hope Pepper and the rest of the Avengers would give me the go ahead.

"Hey Joey, before you head home can you make one more phone call for me?" I ask hopefully. I had already kept him pretty far past when I said I would. Just because I don't have a life outside of work doesn't mean I'm going to keep him from having one.  
"Sure pretty lady! Who do I need to call?" Joey chirped back. Have I mentioned just how much I love this man?  
"I gave you James' number didn't I? That's who I need you to call." I said distractedly as I tried to remember if I had actually given him that number.  
"You mean the number surrounded by the thick black lines and notes that says 'Under NO circumstances are you to call this number unless specifically told to'. You mean that number?" He asked with an extreme amount of sass and sarcasm.  
"Yep, that's the one. If he answers transfer the call to my line, Thanks." I then proceeded to take my phone of speaker and hang up.

I closed my eyes, removed the clips that were holding my hair in place, and proceeded to turn my chair towards my desk with the intention of banging my head against the desk. When I heard someone clear their throat right in front of me.  
"Shit … Fuck! Oww oww … fuckity, fuck, fuck, fuck. That hurt!" Were the next things out of my mouth. The person who had cleared their throat had scared me so badly that I had spun myself out of my chair into my desk and had whacked my head on the corner of it.  
"You okay?" came the mildly concerned voice of Maria Hill from the otherside of my desk.  
I glared at her a moment before replying in a monotone voice "Fan-fucking-tastic, thanks for asking."  
I then hear a low chuckle coming from somewhere behind Maria. Pulling myself up off the floor and back into my chair, I am to see that the person who is laughing at my horrible language, is none other than Agent Barton.  
I try not to look or sound too flustered as I ask, "Maria. Agent Barton. What can I do for you this evening?"  
"It's not so much what you can do for us, as what we can do for you." Maria replied.  
I am more than a little puzzled as I try to figure out what she means by that. Seeing that I am confused Barton chims in with, "We know this mess that you're trying to fix right now is partly our fault. We dragged SHIELD problems onto your plate, and expected you to be able to handle them. We both know there aren't a lot of legal ways to fix this. But if you had a way to fix it and could use any of the skills Hill or I poses we would like to offer them to you." 

Any other day I might have been touched by their offer to help me. But today I had been talked down to and underestimated at every turn. I was exhausted emotionally, mentally, and physically. When Barton finished his speech instead of being grateful, thanking them, and seeing this as a helping hand. I somehow saw it as the two of them saying I wasn't able to do my job.  
"Look I am perfectly capable of handling this all on my own thank you very much." I bite out. "I really don't appreciate you two coming in here telling me how to do my job."  
I am fighting back tears at this point because my body and brain just can't handle any more stress.  
"I have had practically every member of the high ranking military body, telling me I have bit off more than I can chew. That my job wasn't meant for a woman. Also that I am to emotionally involved with my work. I don't need you two telling me that as well." The last part of my little rant is said with tears streaming down my face.

I take a couple of seconds at the end of my tirade to close my eyes and lean heavily on my desk. I calm down and look up at the two former SHIELD agents standing across from me. Maria looks understanding and Barton just looks vaguely uncomfortable.  
"We didn't mean to make you think that anyone is under the impression you can't do your job. We just thought you might want some help holding off the entire US military force as they try storming Avengers Tower." Maria states in a soft calm voice. I already had a tiny inclination that I was overreacting and taking their words the wrong way.  
"Yeah what she said." Joked Barton with a stupid smirk on his face.  
I reached down and open one of my desk drawers, pull out a mirror and tissues and try to make it look like I havn't been crying.  
"I want you two to know that I'm not usually this prone to emotional outbursts." I said aloud while trying to sound apologetic. I don't apologize easily, and that was as close to an apology as they were going to get.  
"Its been a long day." Replies Maria acknowledging my statement for what it is.  
"I just might have to take you up on your offer. If this last call doesn't pan out." I joke trying to alleviate the emotional tension from the room.  
Barton distractedly answers, "You do that." 

After Barton says his last words they make their way to the door. Barton looking at my picture wall the entire way. I turn my back to them and sit down once more. I close my eyes and try to reign in my emotions. 

"Why is there only one picture in a black frame?"  
The question comes from just off to my right. I sit there for a minute letting my heart beat slowdown from the freight just caused by the unexpected question. I look to my right and see Barton staring at the picture I try my best to ignore.  
"Why are you still here Barton?" I ask trying to deflect the question.  
He doesn't even look at me but says, "You can call me Clint or Hawkeye. Everybody else does." His back is still to me as I sigh, I am too emotionally drained to muster any annoyance with him for not answering my question.  
I am preparing to ask again, when his next words hit my ears. "All the other picture frames are wood or metal. They look warm and have a shine to them. But this one, it's … just black. The frame has no shine to it, it's on the very edge of all the other pictures. To someone else's eye, you might not notice this picture. But this is me we are talking about. This frame being different caught my attention." He had turns around to look at me as he rattles off his observation. He has a look of determination in his eye, I know he isn't going to let it go.

I sit there staring at him for eons, it seem. Looking him in the eye trying to figure out why he cares about this one picture frame. He never brakes eye contact, never blinks it seems, he just keeps looking at me with this neutral look on his face. I finally work up the courage to answer his question.  
"It's different, because he was different. Its frame makes it forgettable, because I wish I could forget. It's on the edge, away from where your eyes are naturally drawn, because I try to avoid looking at it." My words ring in the silence. I then look away from him and look out over the New York cityscape.  
"If you don't want to look at it, if you want to forget. Why not take it down?" Barton asks.  
I sigh and then answer rather resignedly, "Because. I don't want to disrespect his memory by removing it or forgetting."  
"You obviousely cared about him. Who is he?" Barton questions. He is now looking at the picture again. I still can't figure out why he is so curious.  
"His name was Roger Ellis. He was a member of the US Air Force. He was the love of my life and fiancé. He died six years ago. He was flying in Iraq when he was shot out of the sky. I miss him." I don't know why I add the last part. It is fairly clear that I miss him. I slowly realize how long it has been since anyone, has asked me about Roger or how long it has been since anyone around me had known about him. I feel almost peaceful now that the questioning is over.

Barton starts walking over towards the door of my office. Just before he reachs the door I speek softly and lightly,  
"Thank you for asking about him, Clint" The only response I get is in the brief hesitation I see before he opens the door and walks out.

A few minutes pass after Clint had left before my office phone lets out a shrill ring. I glance over at the display and a huge grin breaks out over my face.  
" How's my favorite Colonel?" I greet the man on the other end of the line.  
He chuckles before retorting, "Don't you ever get tired of cleaning up after Tony?"  
"Why would I ever get tired of doing that? Do you mean to tell me you actually get tired of cleaning up after you BFF's messes." This is the first time to day I have truly smiled and 's very therapeutic. The man on the other end of the line is none other than the War Machine himself, Colonel James Rhodes.  
"I have to say being friends with Tony certainly makes things interesting." James laughs.  
I can't help the small chuckle that slips out as I sas, "You should try working for the man."  
I can hear him laughing on the other end of the phone. I decide that with James in a good mood I should ask him for a favor.  
"Now that I have you in a good mood, I need to ask you something." I hope that what I hear next will be his agreeing to help me.  
"I guess I should have suspected this when they told me you were calling. I'm not sure what I can do for you Iris." James sighs. I know he wants to help, not only me, but Tony as well. "I don't know if there is anything more I can do, that you haven't already tried."  
"You were on an international governmental committee that was in charge of the investigations of military personnel suspected of being enemy agents, after HYDRA was exposed." I am gearing up for my question, when James cuts in,  
"You know I can't talk to you about what happened in those investigations. Those investigation are matters of National Security."  
I did know that the meetings were classified. I also knew that James would say that.  
"I don't need details I just need confirmation that an investigation took place. Surely you can do that for me James. Just a simple yes or no answer." I plead. I can feel the tension through the phone, James wants to help, but he also has orders he needs to follow.  
"Ask me your question." The tension in his voice is so clear and defined, it is almost oppressive the weight of those four simple words.  
"Did your committee ever investigate Colonel William Reynolds?" After the words leave my mouth I wait and hope for the answer I want.  
"How did you even find out about that committee or any of its investigations?" I wondered when he would figure out I shouldn't have the information I have.  
"You know how I got the information. My mother was on the committee with you. I overheard a conversation she had on the phone one time. I am 95% sure that I heard her talking about Colonel Reynolds." I hope that he won't be upset that I know such classified information.  
There is a dry chuckle from the other end before, "I guess that shouldn't surprise me. The answer is yes, by the way. He was investigated and cleared for your information."  
"Whoa! Hold your horses there, Colonel Rhodes. You're giving me a lot of information I didn't ask for." I joke hoping to relieve the tension. "I have one more question about what triggered the investigation. You don't have to answer it, I can get what I need elsewhere, but it would be nice to have a direction to look." I wait for a few seconds waiting for him to tell me no, that he can't, or won't answer my questions.  
When I don't hear anything I ask, "Was the investigation triggered by the support his military career got from Senator Stern and others who turned out to be HYDRA agents?"  
The only answer I get is a short "Yes." Before James tells me good bye and hangs up.

The relief I feel at finally being able to piece together my final plan, is immense. If I was Atlas, the weight lifted off of me would have been the entire world. I smile and let out a small breathy laugh. I know what I need to do. I reach across my desk and grab my phone shooting out a quick text to my mother. I had learned a long time ago that Elizabeth Montgomery does not liked to be surprised, so I didn't want her to be blindsided if she was asked how I knew about the investigation. Next I need to get permission to set my plan in motion.

I pick up my phone and call Pepper. Once she picks up, I don't give her a chance to speak before I spout out, "You are going to love me! I mean really, I am amazing."  
"You fixed our mess! How?" Pepper gushes, I could hear the people getting louder, trying to figure out what I was saying.  
"It would be easier for me to tell you if I could do it in person. So you don't have to relay the info to the people around you." I laugh. I can hear Pepper shushing people and shooing them away.  
"Okay that's fine." She replies distractedly.  
"Does that mean I have permission to ascend to the Avengers' section of the tower?" I need Pepper to actually say the words aloud so JARVIS will allow me up.  
"What? Oh right. Yes, you are allowed to come up. We are on the Avengers communal level." She says.  
I am already heading out of my office and towards the elevator before Pepper finishes speaking.

I really hope that they will approve of my ideas and plan.

**Thank you all again for reading my story. I hope you all are liking it so far. Please let me know if there is anything you can think of that might make this story better I would appreciate, you letting me know!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Thank you for reading my story. I would like to apologize for the wait on this chapter. I had a hard time getting the wording to sound like I wanted. I hope you all enjoy it!**

**Also I would like to remind you to that reviews are a  
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Ch. 5 It Would Be My Genuine Pleasure

My mother, Elizabeth May Montgomery has been called many things, by many people, but low key is not one of them. At least where her job or her kids safety and happiness is concerned. I have seen my mother compared to almost all of the different predatory animals, in one newspaper or another, for doing what needed to be done. Whether that was being relentless in her pursuit of justice or being overbearing in her involvement in her children's lives. So I expected my mother to react badly to what I was doing. Involving myself in rather tumultuous governmental affairs.  
"Hey Mama, what's up?" I say stepping onto the elevator. I wait for her answer, with hope that she will be understanding.  
"DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DOING?" Came the shrill accented voice on the other end of the phone. My father often said that my mother's English accent was one of the reasons he fell in love with her.  
I close my eyes and sigh "Yes Ma, I do in fact know what I'm doing." I also cross my fingers behind my back because she doesn't need to know I have no clue what I'm doing. "I'm sorry if this looks bad for you mom but…"  
I begin, before my mother cuts in with "You know I don't care about that. I am worried that you are defending criminals and monsters!"

I am completely stunned. My mother has said many shocking things to me in my life, but this was by far the most shocking. When SHIELD was first exposed after the Battle of New York, my mother was one of the loudest voices of support, saying they were heroes, doing what it took to keep the world as safe as possible. Now those same SHIELD agents, she was calling them criminals. As for the monster comment, I can only assume she was talking about Bruce. She had defended him too. Calling him 'a savior of New York', she said he was making the best of a bad situation, he was using the other guy to help us. 'If that meant causing a little bit of a mess then so be it.' She said this and so many more things in his defense, now she was behaving just like so many others calling him a monster.

I was brought out of my stunned silence by hearing my mother call my name over and over again. I stopped her with quite possibly the harshest words I have ever said to my mother.  
"I have never heard such hypocrisy come out of your mouth." I hissed. "Yesterday you would have called them heroes, you would have said they were what kept us safe. Now the road gets the tiniest bit rocky and you want me to what stop doing my job? Do you want me cut and run, abandon my friends and the people I work with?" I can feel my anger heating up my face. My disbelief at what my mother has said is only outweighed by my need to defend the people who were counting on me.  
"No, you can't expect that of me. You raised me to fight for what I believe. To never back down and to have some integrity." After I finish. My mom is really quiet for a very long time. I wait for her to respond, I wait for her to acknowledge the fact that I'm right that I am doing what needs to be done.  
Instead all I get is "I see. I hope you will allow me to speak now?"  
I can feel my mother's sadness and anger radiating through the phone, I know the moment the words leave her mouth; I had hurt her.  
"I did raise you to be to do all of those things. I just don't want you to get hurt by all of this." Her words come out as barely a whisper.  
"I need you to trust me mom. Of all of the people I need to trust and believe in me, I need you to do this for me." I plead with her. As I wait for a response I realize that the elevator has been completely silent for a very long time. JARVIS is giving me time to finish my conversation away from everyone on the other side of the doors.  
"I love you Iris." My mother's voice still riddled with all the emotion, she is currently dealing with.  
I smile because, this is my mother's way of saying she is going to back me up, no matter what.  
"I gotta go, mama. I have a plan I need to put into motion, if I can get it approved."  
I hear my mother's laugh as she says "You will." We say our good-byes, and I take one small moment to gather myself.  
"Thank you JARVIS." I say just acknowledging what the AI had done for me.

As the doors are opening, I am suddenly surrounded by a rather large group of people watching the elevator waiting for the doors to open. The majority of the Avengers and company are waiting for me. I can see Tony behind the bar with Pepper sitting across from him lounging on one of the 4 huge couches across from the bar. I ignore everyone surrounding the door and push my way through to Tony. I hoist myself onto a bar stool.  
Tony has his back to me until I say, "Guess who I just got off the phone with?" I can barely contain the proud grin that now threatens to take over my face.  
"Who?" he replies over his shoulder, I can sense how uninterested he is. With where he thinks this conversation is going.  
"Your. Best. Friend." I draw out the words. Immediately catching Tony's attention.  
His head whips around so fast I'm afraid he'll get whiplash. "Rhodie?" the puzzlement on his face is almost comical.  
"Yep." I pop the p, gaining a large amount pleasure as Tony tries to figure out what James Rhodes has to do with anything.

I considered letting Tony try and figure out why James would help me in this situation and not him; I suddenly realized everyone in the room was watching and listening to Tony and I. They were waiting too.  
"He unofficially confirmed a bit of military gossip." I say with a smile on my face. I'm proud of myself having gotten more out of James than Tony had.  
"Rhodie wouldn't have told you anything that went against his orders." Tony denied.  
"To you maybe. But he trusts me to be discreet with the information he gives me." I refute and continue, "Look Colonel Reynolds was investigated by a United Nations task force, after Hydra was exposed. None of these investigations were ever disclosed to the public. His military career would be over if this information ever reached the public."  
I wait for everyone to process the information I have just given them. Before continuing with, "He was of course cleared by every 'friendly' intelligence agency and even a couple 'unfriendly' ones. But just the hint of any wrong doing the media will latch on and never let go."  
Tony was looking at me with a slightly impressed grin, before saying "Basically blackmail, which is illegal." I let out a huff. Trying to contain my frustration with Tony and this situation, but failing.  
"Look there is no legal recourse here Tony. You fucked up, and your friends fucked up. In your typical fashion you don't do anything half assed, you go big and completely screw everyone. But, you guys are good people. You help people as heroes and as individuals. You don't deserve this scrutiny, and accusations. This is what we have left, Tony. I have tried all legal pathways but at this point in time, if the government decide that Stark Industries or the Avengers are a threat to global security they have the justice system on their side. It might be wrong, but it's legal. What I want to do is probably pretty illegal, but it is the right thing to do." My tirade is fueled by the anger I still feel from my earlier conversation with my mother. Tears are brimming in my eyes, I just look at each individual persons in the room, as I wait for someone to say something.  
"Do it." Pepper says as she stands up from the couch and walks over to me. "What do you need from us?" she asks.  
"Your permission to set up a meeting between myself and Reynolds, so I can lay the cards on the table." I request.  
"Well she's going to need security." Demands Tony. He is looking around the room for volunteers when both Maria and Clint step forward. Tony arches an eyebrow at Romanoff, but receives a glare in return. All of this does not escape my notice.  
"We got her covered Stark." Maria says in acknowledgement of the request.  
"It would be my genuine pleasure." Said Clint with an intensity that was rather unsettling.

Just before I start to protest, Bruce cuts me off, "You're going to let them go with you. You are risking everything for us, let us do this for you."  
I am completely stunned, because the look of determination on the faces of everyone in the room, excluding Romanoff, was rather astonishing. They were all in agreement. Most of these people had never met me before today, but they were all so willing to protect me. It was slightly overwhelming.  
"Tony, I need to borrow JARVIS to make this phone call. If I am correct, and I usually am about these sorts of things, Colonel Reynolds, has blocked my office number, along with most other numbers coming from Stark Industries." I make the request with as much professionalism as I can muster, after this excruciatingly long day.  
"Sure. JARVIS you heard the lady, call Colonel Reynolds." Tony spoke with his normal non-chalance.

While we are waiting there's a tense silence in the room. I heard the click and the terse but cheerful voice of Colonel Williams Secretary saying, "Thank you for calling Colonel Williams office. He appreciates your call, but he is unfortunately not taking any calls, because he is out of the office. If you would like you can leave your name, number, and a short message. I will be more than happy to pass that message on for you."  
I scoffed before replying with, "Yes, I would like to leave a message. This is Iris Roberts from Stark Industries."  
His secretary was trying to interrupt me, but I continued with, "You're going to want a pen and paper, because he is going to want the exact wording of what I say next. Or if you want you can just usher him into the room and put it on speaker so he can hear it directly from my mouth. I would like to talk to him about a certain international investigation, that he was involved with. Also I would like to see the Colonel in my office Monday morning around 10:00, maybe 10:30. So we can discuss this situation with the Avengers and Stark Industries. Just call me Monday morning, to confirm the meeting."

I don't wait for a reply and give JARVIS the go ahead to terminate the call. I look around the room and come to the realization that there is nothing more for me to do. I look over at Pepper, who is still standing next to me at the bar and ask,  
"Is there anything else you need me to do, or would it be alright if I head home."  
The exhaustion of the day has finally crept up on me.  
"No, you go home and I will see you Monday." She smiles. I look over at her and laugh.  
"I will be back tomorrow afternoon to prepare for Monday." I make my way to the elevator, but half-way there I realize that I have forgotten one last thing.  
"Hey Tony, you might want to send home your personal military. It might put the Colonel in a more 'relaxed' mood." After I finished with that, I continued on to the elevator. I was ready to go home and sleep.

The elevator doors are almost closed when a muscular forearm shot through the closing doors to make the doors reopen, in steps Clint Barton. I give him my best 'what the fuck' look.  
"I volunteered to walk you out." He said. I almost thought he looked embarrassed. But why would he be embarrassed to walk me out of the building.  
I voiced that question, "Why would you volunteer to walk me out? It's not like you know me that well?"  
"You're a nice lady. You grew up in a very privileged environment, but you care about everyone around you. You treat the people who work for Stark Industries the same as you treat Pepper; with kindness and caring. You are fighting for people you don't know. I admire that." He never looked at me, while he was speaking. I am shocked into silence for the rest of the elevator ride.  
As we reach the lobby Clint speaks yet again, "I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable when I asked about Roger's picture."  
I smiled, I didn't think that he would apologize or even expect him to apologize. As far as I was concerned he had not done anything wrong in asking about Roger or his picture.  
"You don't need to apologize Clint. You did nothing wrong, if I hadn't wanted to speak about Roger I wouldn't have."  
The look of incredulity that I see cross his face out of the corner of my eye, was almost comical. Just as quickly as it had come, it was gone, back to an almost neutral expression.  
"I also want to thank you personally for taking this risk. You are blackmailing a military official, to defend us, to defend me. I just… It means… Thank You. I mean it." He recovers very well after his stumble at the end.  
"I seem to fluster you Agent Barton." I say jokingly, trying to ease the tension in the foyer of Stark Industries, as we made our way out the front door. He gives a half smirk at my comment, he seems to relax. We make our way through the security line and Clint steps forward to hail me a cab.

The cab pulls up to curb and Clint opens the door for me. I situate myself and wait for Clint to close the door.  
He leans in to say, "Don't worry about Natasha. She takes a while to warm up to people, and is still trying to get a read on you. I know once she gets to know you, she will like you and trust you as much as I do."  
"How can you trust me so much, you don't even know me that well?" I am so confused. I haven't been this confused for a very long time.  
"I am real good at reading people. I trust my judgments, and you don't hide as well as you think you do." He says as he closes the cab door and my cab drives away. Internally I start freaking out because, the last words he said to me were so familiar it was scary.

_Why does he look at me that way?_

_Why does the way he looks at me excite me?_

_Why did those words scare me so much?_

_I need to avoid him at all costs. _

_He sees too much._

All thoughts floating around my head as I give the driver my address in Hell's Kitchen. As the driver makes the first turn I promise myself to not let Clint Barton see so much.

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	6. Chapter 6

**Here is another chapter! I hope you enjoy it. You get to see a little more of Iris, and meet an old friend who is a familiar face.**

**If you have a suggestions about what direction the story should go, or if you have a favorite character you would like to see more of let me know! **

Ch. 6 I Do Not Have Relationships. I have Brief Moments of Companionship.

**Monday, 5:45am**

The grating sound of my alarm clock beeping was what woke me up this morning. I shut it off, and look at the time as I swing my legs over the side of my bed. I rub my face and stretch my body. I hate waking up in the morning but, know if I want to be fully awake I have to get up and go on my usual morning run. I stand and start stripping my sleep pants and tank top. I pull on a bright neon pink reflective jog bra and a Lycra racer back tank top in white. I pull on my Nike shorts and running shoes and make my way over to the hair brush sitting on my nightstand. I look into the mirror and brush my hair back into a ponytail.

I make my way out of my apartment with my armband, which holds my iPod, and clip my keys to my tank and tuck them into my bra to keep them from bouncing. I start my run heading towards Central Park. I warm up by jogging towards Columbus Circle, as I make my way to 59th street I realize I can feel eyes on me, but think it is only a nosy neighbor watching me run. It's only as I wait to cross 59th into the park that I look around trying to figure out who is still watching me. The crossing signal changes and signals for me to cross the street.

I look up as I reach the other side of the street and my eyes are drawn to the last person I had ever hoped to see. Sam Wilson was part of Roger's unit and there he stands watching me with that careful look on his face. Next to him is Maria, both are dressed ready for a run. Hill in a black and silver running get up and Sam in an Air force t-shirt and black shorts. I nod at them as the only form of greeting and wait for someone to say something.  
"Mind if we join you on your run?" Maria asks, seemingly oblivious to the fact I haven't stopped glaring at Sam since setting eyes on him.  
"How you doing Iris?" Sam asks trying to break my mask.  
I continued to glare saying, "I had hoped you would stay in DC. I never really wanted to see you again."  
Hills eyebrow twitches before asking, "Is there going to be a problem with Wilson being here?"  
"No" Wilson says simply.  
"Yes" I spit out.  
Hill turns slightly from Sam and says, "It's either Wilson or Barton."  
She is giving me a choice, she knows that I don't want either of them, but is forcing me to choose. I know the only option I am going be comfortable with is the one person I don't want near me.  
"Wilson will be fine I suppose." I am frustrated and turn to start my run.

Hill pulls ahead and keeps a steady pace about 15 paces ahead of us. Wilson decides apparently to keep pace with me and runs on my left. He looks over at me and decides to start up a conversation. He reaches over and taps my shoulder, motioning me to take my ear buds out.  
"We should talk." Sam states looking straight ahead. Keeping his breathing even and pace steady.  
"So talk." I reply with almost no emotion in my voice.  
He glances briefly at me and says, "Pepper was telling me that you aren't dating anyone. It's been a long time, he wouldn't want this."  
"Fuck off. It is none of your business what I do with my life." I state, I glare ahead and start to pick up my pace pushing myself as I start to feel my anxiety rise. Wilson speeds up and continues to keep pace with me. He thankfully remains quiet.

I allow my thoughts to drift back a day as my feet thudding against the ground lulls me into a trance.

By the time I had reached my apartment Saturday night, I had figured out why Clint's words had bothered me so much. They had reminded me of a conversation I had with Roger shortly before he had proposed to me.  
"You are good at many things Iris, but hiding what you are thinking or feeling is not one of them. At least not once someone knows you, trusts you. To know you Iris, is to trust and love you." Said Roger as he looked into my eyes. Roger always looked at me with such intensity, with so much intense love and devotion. I couldn't understand how he could love me so much.  
"Oh really? When exactly did you first 'know who I am and trust me'?" I ask sarcastically, trying to break the tension that his words had caused. It wasn't a bad tension, it was a pleasant tension.  
"About 30 minutes after I met you." He didn't blink he just kept on with his devoted and besotted stare. I loved that stare. It unnerved me and excited me. I any other situation I would have hated the feeling but the fact that it came from Roger, made it one of the best feelings in the world. It was during this conversation I realized how terrified I was of losing people, mainly this man I was cuddled with on the couch of our apartment.  
"How did you know your judgment was correct?" I asked, I wanted to know how he could so easily love me. How he could devote himself to me so quickly and without hesitation. I looked at his face, I was studying it trying to memorize every line and crease. If I had known then what I had known now, I would have taken more time. Paid more attention.  
"I'm a good judge of character." Roger said smiling. He pulled me close and snuggled me, stroking my hair and whispering adorations into my ear. Every now and then throwing in silly little things that made me giggle. If I had known I would have paid more attention to what he said and devoted even more time to him.

Roger knew everything about me. Every secret and fear. I trusted him completely, loved him completely. Then he was take from me, and in that moment my world had stopped spinning, never to start again. Then Clint had dropped into my life watching me and asking questions. Staring at me with an intensity I had never experienced, at least not for a long time. I had tried to avoid him all of Sunday but he had found me at every turn. He had asked me so many questions and I had tried to brush him off, but on occasion I had to answer because he wouldn't take no for an answer. I had even been cornered by Natasha at one point, she told me Clint was interested in me. She didn't know if it was romantically or platonically, but if I hurt him I was dead woman. That encounter had set my head reeling, I had felt butterflies in my stomach again. It terrified me. I felt sick, unsettled, and excited. I liked Clint, he was strong yet funny. Dorky and still extremely badass. He was similar to Roger, yet there were so many differences. It was the differences that I liked the most. My phobia was taking hold, just like with every man since Roger. I couldn't get hurt, I wouldn't survive another loss.

As my thoughts get slightly manic I realize that my pace is slowing. My heart rate is spiking way above normal. My entire body is starting to shake. Sam notices and whistles to get Maria's attention. My vision is tunneling. I can only see directly in front of me. Sam knows this and gets into my line of sight. He is talking to me and trying to get me to focus on him. It is partially working, I can see him taking deep breaths. I sit and try to regulate my breathing. Sam keeps talking to me, about really stupid things like the trees and the sunrise. I am slowly coming back to reality as I notice there are other people surrounding me. Clint and Maria are looking over Sam's left shoulder, Natasha is watching over his right. As I regain the ability to speak without sounding like I am shivering I say,  
"So Clint, Natasha, I am going to assume it's a fairly safe guess that it was the two of you watching me as I left my apartment this morning." I ask, hoping that one of them will answer my query.  
"I didn't think you would notice us. I'm slightly impressed." Romanoff teased. Which took my mind of my previous thoughts and fully thrust them back into reality.  
"I didn't physically see you, but you two were making the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end." I joked back, kind of relieved that she had decided to accept me.

I sat on the ground for a few more moments, before blindly reaching out my hand to get some help up. Clint grasped my hand and hoisted me up off of the ground. I quietly thanked him and then took a quick look around to avoid his gaze.  
"Let me walk you back to your apartment." Clint requested. The moment the words leave his mouth I tense up.  
Wilson sees this and says, "Naw, man I got her. I'll make sure she gets home safe and sound." Sam had seen my posture, and stepped into save me. He puts his hand on my lower back and guides me around everyone silently. He says nothing until we are out of the others ear shot.  
"From what I hear Barton is interested in you." Wilson says, "So why are you so desperate to keep him away?"  
"Please don't push this Sam." I am pleading with him staring a hole in the side of his head. We walk in silence for a little while before he stops and grabs my arm.  
"No, Iris. I'm not going to stop pushing. It has been six goddamn years. Six years. Roger wouldn't want you isolating yourself, keeping your heart locked up. Guarding yourself from happiness. Why are you doing this?" Sam is getting angry now. I could tell, and to be honest so am I.  
"Losing Roger almost killed me. I was an empty shell of a person. When he died my heart stopped beating, it took me a while but I eventually figured something out. If my heart doesn't beat, I can't feel that pain. But Barton, is making me start to feel things that I haven't felt in over six years. I could be really happy, but I refuse to allow myself to hurt. I won't survive losing another person. I won't survive having them ripped away. If Clint was just a regular guy then maybe, but he is a fucking superhero. He fights aliens and demi-gods. I stand an even greater chance of losing him than I did losing Roger." Tears are pouring down my face at this point. Everything thing I haven't said in the six years since Roger's death pouring out of my mouth with no end in sight.  
"The reason I am fighting so hard to keep Colonel Reynolds away from Stark Ind., is because I can do something to keep from losing those people. I can keep them safe, or at least try. I couldn't do anything for Roger, and sure as hell wouldn't be able to do anything for Clint." I sob out.

"So you just have meaningless relationships. That's it?" Wilson asks after a few more minutes of walking to allow me to calm down once again.  
"I do not have relationships. I have brief moments of companionship." I say exhausted, even with as early as it was, I can't seem to find any energy.  
"Let me be on your security detail for the meeting." Sam looks at me with this earnest expression etched across his face.  
I laugh and then with all seriousness say, "No."  
"You trusted me with all of that information, about you, and how you felt about Roger and how you could feel about Barton. But you can't trust me to keep you safe? What did I ever do to lose your trust?" Sam has always been honest to a fault. This time included. I stare at him for what seems like an eternity when I decided that I need to start trusting my old friends.  
"Okay. But don't screw this up." I say as I brush off the dirt on my pants and walk up the stairs to my apartment.  
"Would you like to come in? I have coffee." I ask.  
"Naw, mama. I gotta get back and get changed if I'm gonna keep you safe today." He says with a smile. He knows I am going to let him back in, at least a little bit, which is a start.  
I reach my door when I see a black Charger pull up and Sam walks away and shouts over his shoulder,  
"I'll see you at 8:15 in the lobby. Don't be late or I'll be sending your lover boy to hunt you down." I flip him off and unlock my door.

Today is going to be a very long day.

**There we go! So what did you think? Let me know what you think by reviewing!**

**Thank you for reading What Comes Next!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Here is the next chapter! The "Showdown" between Iris and Colonel Reynolds.**

**I really hope you like how I wrote their confrontation.**

**Enjoy!**

**Ch. 7 I am My Mother's Daughter. You Do Not Want to Test that Theory.**

**Monday, 7:55 am**

I am waiting for my ride to arrive by putting the finishing touches on my outfit for today. I stared into my blue-green eyes and smiled I looked determined, dangerous, and professional all at the same time. I know in my heart of hearts that my plan will work. I slide my hands up over my black leather pencil skirt, with the slit in the back to allow me to walk, and adjust the maroon silk peasant blouse to flow gracefully over the top of my skirt. I grab the black pearl studs out of my jewelry box sitting on my vanity and put them on. I tuck my rose gold locket with the silver rose inlay into my shirt so all you can see is the rose gold and platinum chain. On a normal day I would never consider the "killer spike" patent leather heels with maroon arches, because by the end of the day my feet would be bloody nubs. But today they were an advantage I needed and wanted on my side. I didn't care what the Colonel thought of my heels, I only cared that they gave me a confidence boost that after this morning I needed. I am of course going to grab another much lower pair of heels to wear after my meeting. I am not going to allow myself to suffer all day. I am putting the second pair in my sling bag when I hear my driver honk the horn letting me know he was there.

As I step out of my apartment, I make sure that I have my bag, keys and phone. I panic slightly when I cannot find the manila envelope, with all the original documents I had spent most of Sunday digging up, when I unzipped my bag and saw it nestled between my Stark pad and heels. I sigh heavily trying to calm my nerves, and look up to see Happy, Pepper, and Tony all waiting for me by a large black SUV.  
"Pepper, Tony this wasn't necessary. Sending a car was over kill enough you didn't need to come and escort me to the Tower." I whine a little, tired of everyone treating me like a delicate flower. All of Sunday I had been pushing people out of my way as they tried to check that I had anything and everything that I needed.  
Tony obviously hadn't heard me as he was still staring at my rather form fitting outfit, and replied "Yeah, your welcome. Pep, why don't you wear skirts like that?" I laugh as I continue down the stairs, while Pepper slaps Tony's arm fairly hard.  
"It's the least we can do. Besides I figured you wouldn't have time this morning to make coffee so I brought you some." Pepper says smiling and holding out a rather large cup of coffee. I politely thank her and continue towards the car. Happy opens the door for Pepper and I, I slide across the leather interior with Pepper on my heels. Tony makes his way around the front of the SUV and hops into the passenger seat.

As Happy starts pulling away from my brownstone, he and Tony start talking about his workout or something along those lines, and once Pepper is sufficiently assured that they are ensconced in their conversation she turns her body to look at me.  
"I'm sorry about this morning. I remembered you talking about a soldier named, Sam Wilson who you were close to once. Then I remembered Steve's new friend was a soldier with the same name. One thing led to another and we found out he was the same person and brought him in." Pepper says all of this barely taking time to breath and continues, "I was worried about you. Well really everybody was worried about you. Stress and exhaustion was settling in Sunday evening when you left, and we thought having an old friend nearby, would help. I didn't think that it would cause more stress. …" Pepper looks close to tears as I say,  
"Pepper, you don't have to apologize. Was I annoyed and angry when I first saw him? Yes. Does that mean I am not grateful for his presence? No, I am really happy to have him nearby again. He knows a lot about me that is normally pretty difficult to explain. He also volunteered to join my security detail for the meeting this morning." I smile at Pepper and rub her arm reassuringly, letting her know I am not at all upset with her.  
Tony had apparently started listening to our conversation when I had said Sam was joining up with my security detail and made the off-hand remark, "Bird-boy joined your team? Good might make Colonel Reynolds feel better seeing another military man at the meeting."

"I doubt Sam is going to be in his dress blues Tony. Colonel Reynolds will probably think he is just another security guard." I answer back, amused by his assumption that Sam would be in full military regalia.  
"Oh well. Wilson's a good guy, one more person working security never hurt." Tony says as he returns to his previous conversation with Happy. It's only a few more minutes of conversation before we are pulling up outside of the tower. Happy opens Pepper's door at the same time Tony is opening mine. Tony opening my door for me was a bit of a shock, because I didn't know he knew how to be a gentleman. We walk towards the tower together, and once we are inside the first person I see is Sam.

I wolf whistle, then say, "You sure clean up nice Sam. Did JARVIS pick out your outfit today?" He laughs at my joke before replying with one of his own,  
"Are you sure this is just a meeting? Or are we chaperoning your date with the Colonel?" He makes me laugh, it feels good to laugh and it relieves a little of the stress I feel with the meeting so close at hand. Sam really does look good, in his black suit and navy blue button up shirt. On the lapel of his suit jacket he has a flag pin, ever the patriot at heart.

As I finish taking in Sam's appearance I notice over his right shoulder Maria waiting patiently, and Clint watching with a rather calculating stare. I realize neither of them know that Sam will be joining them on security, as I send a small acknowledging wave in their direction. I can hear Sam talking to me as we approach them. I take in what Clint is wearing, a black suit that fit Clint very well, purple button up shirt, and black leather dress shoes. I realize I am admiring him I little too much, and look over at Maria. She is wearing a black business suit with a light blue pinstripe blouse. She had a pair of black low heels, similar to the ones I have in my bag.

"Well, you two ready? Today should be fairly interesting!" My question is only met by two silent nods. Clint looks rather angry. I can't figure out why until I feel Sam's hand fall from the small of my back, and see Clint's face revert back to his neutral expression. I turn and make my way to the elevator. Sam close on my heels and everyone else behind us.  
"I'll take Tony and Happy in one elevator if you want to go with your security team?" I look at Pepper after she asks her question. I smile, nod, and step into the second elevator when the door opens. The ride to the floor where Pepper and I have our offices seems to take forever.  
"So you and Sam are friends?" Maria asks without turning around to look at me.  
"Yeah, I've known him for a long time. I met him before I graduated college. Why?" I was curious as to why she would ask such a random question.  
"Oh no reason. Just trying to figure out why you invited him to help you." Maria was fishing for info, what information she wants I have no clue, but I can answer at least one question.  
"He's not here to help me, Sam is here to help the two of you. He was Pararescue, and from what I heard had Romanoff and Captain Roger's back at the Triskelion." I look at Sam, hoping he will chime in now.  
"I served two tours, and ended my military career with the 58th Rescue Squadron." Sam replied, keeping his cool even with people treating him like he wasn't there. I smirk when both Maria and Clint do double takes over their shoulders.  
"You're the Falcon?" They ask at the same time, both of them have identical shocked expression on their face.  
"Sam is fine." He says with a smile.

When we reach my floor, everyone is a little more at ease with each other. I exit the elevator after Clint and Maria step out, both moving out of the way to allow me to lead the way. I glance around and see that Joey is already here for the day. My darling Joey, he is one of my best friends. I would be able to spot Joey a mile away, because of his wine read hair. Also how many over 6ft tall, fit, gay men could keep up with my hectic work schedule, along with dealing with my crazy family calling. He keeps me grounded and sane. When Joey realizes I have arrived he smiles and says,  
"Colonel Reynolds has already confirmed your meeting for ten this morning." He keeps smiling as he takes in my outfit, "That outfit is too good, for that meeting. Why can't you dress like this all the time?"  
"Thank you honey! Let the departments know I won't be by to pick up their department briefings until after lunch." I say as I walk into my office.

I set my bag down on my desk, and briefly look out at the cityscape, before turning to my computer. My computer had automatically booted up, once I stepped onto the floor thanks to JARVIS. I sit down at my desk and notice that my three shadows are standing just inside the door to my office rather awkwardly.  
"Might as well make yourself comfortable. We have awhile until the Colonel gets here." I say as I motion to the seating in my office. Wilson moves to my couch and stretches out taking up most of the space. Maria sits in one of the dark cheery wood and black leather chairs across from my desk. Barton moves to stand behind me and leans against the window watching what is going on outside my office.

I sit and check emails, calm down the head of Public Relations, and talk to Linda in HR. Before I know it I hear, "Miss Roberts, Mr. Stark asked me to inform you when Colonel Reynolds arrived. His motorcade has just pulled up in front of the tower."  
I looked up from my computer and said, "Thank you JARVIS. I'll send someone down to escort him up."  
Before I could ask one of my three bodyguards to perform this task, Maria was already out of her chair and on her way to meet him. I stand from my desk, and grab the manila envelope out of my sling bag, I am half way out my office door when I hear Clint clear his throat and then say,  
"You forgetting this?" I look and see my cell phone in his hand. He is walking toward me and once he is close enough I reach out my hand hesitantly and take it. This is the closest I have allowed the two of us to be voluntarily, since Saturday evening. As I take my cell from him, I can feel the callouses on his hand from the use of his bow. The spot where our hands touched tingles slightly, in a pleasant way. The feeling makes me instantly pull my hand away and continue on my way.  
"Joey" I call once I am outside my office, his head turns towards me as I speak again. "Did Linda send up all the files, I asked for?"  
"Yeah. She did. The boxes are in the conference room. Thought you should know, Linda said if anything happens to those files, I'll wish I was dead. Linda is fairly terrifying when she is pissed. Please don't piss her off anymore than she is already." Joey is clearly amused and the slightest bit serious. He is worried that my plan won't work.  
"Don't worry my love. I'll make sure Sam keeps the tiny little scary lady away from you." I point my thumb over my shoulder at Sam who looks slightly confused by our interaction. Sam is holding open the door to the conference room. I smile and head into the room. I nearly run into Clint's back. For a split second I am confused as to why he just stopped when I see what he is staring at.  
"I didn't know we had hired that many former SHIELD employees." I state blankly.  
"Neither did I." Clint murmured.

Sam came into the room behind us and let out a low whistle taking in the large number of boxes taking up a little over a quarter of the room.  
"From what I understand, we hired a large number of their administrators and scientists. Very few of those files according to my snooping belong to anyone who was an active field agent." Joey said from behind us. I turn and look at him.  
"Colonel Reynolds is worried about a bunch of scientists and paper-pushers." I ask with disbelief.  
"They were agents of SHIELD. So they had to pass at least the basic levels of field competencies. But most weren't any better than your dime-a-dozen, fresh outta boot camp, army recruit. Sam over there is more dangerous than all of these people, combined." Clint snarked, but the truth was clear in his voice.

I move to the end of the table closest to the boxes. I want to make sure that I am between Colonel Reynolds and the file boxes behind me.  
"Clint, I want you between Colonel Reynolds and those files at all times. He does not get any closer to those boxes than I allow him. We clear?" I demand, I arch my eyebrow and wait for a reply.  
"Crystal, ma'am." Clint says with a nod.  
"Sam, I want you between any security the Colonel brings with him, and the Colonel himself. But do it in a way that isn't noticeable. I don't want to scare him." After the second order is given, Sam just nods and leans against the wall.  
"I noticed Maria's comm. device earlier. I'm going to assume that you have one as well Clint." He gives me the affirmative nod, and I continue. "Can she hear me right now?"  
"Yep, she can. Loud and clear." Clint affirms.  
"Maria, make sure any aids and/or guards are kept outside the room. The fewer witnesses to our conversation the better. Let us know when you are in the elevator." Once Clint signals that she has received the message. I turn to look at the clear glass separating the conference room and the rest of the floor.  
"JARVIS, is there a way to fog the glass and soundproof the room?" I ask the question hoping that there is in fact away to do it.  
"Of course Ms. Roberts." As soon as JARVIS has finished saying that, the glass fogs up and the room goes silent.  
"JARVIS, make sure that anyone outside the room hears some sort of muffled talking track or sound effect. I also want muffled office sound played on low in here if at all possible." Once again hoping that my request isn't completely impossible.  
"The tracks you requested will begin playing once the Colonel arrives on the floor, Ms. Roberts. Is there anything else ma'am?" the AI replies politely.  
"No, thank you. JARVIS" I turn around and look at Clint, who is standing between me and the files. I reach behind me, to grab the large envelope I had been keeping very close.  
"Keep this out of sight until the correct moment presents itself." I say as I hand the envelope to Clint. He tucks it inside his suit jacket, under his right arm and crosses his arms on his chest.

"Get ready." Clint says, letting us know that Maria is arriving on the floor with Colonel Reynolds and his entourage.  
The door opens moments later and Colonel Reynolds enters the room. He has an arrogant swagger, which comes from years of being untouchable, because of his friends and connections. For a long time Colonel Reynolds had some of the best diplomatic connections in the game, and was on the fast track for becoming a General. But recently I had discovered most of those diplomatic contacts had dried up, and his military career was starting to stall out. I hope that would make this meeting easier.

"Is it really necessary for my security and aids to wait outside? You have two guards in here with you, surely you wouldn't mind letting me have just one man in here with me, would ya sugar?" I can practically feel the sliminess of his words on my skin.  
"Colonel Reynolds Welcome." I say with a smile as I stand and shake his hand. "Unfortunately, it is necessary. Besides the man standing behind me, is here to guard those files. And the gentleman behind you is one of my assistants. If we need anything, we will be more than happy to fetch it for us." I say with a tight forced smile. "Please have a seat."  
Colonel Reynolds now looks more than a little annoyed that his attempt at smooth talking me hasn't worked. "Well, I hope you understand that you have made a very big mistake trying to blackmail me Ms. Roberts. Your recklessness and hubris is going to be the down fall of this fine business. But Ms. Potts clearly has seen this, because she has sent you with the files as an olive branch." He says with a sneer. "I can't believe she would allow someone so incompetent to work for her. You are just some young nobody that is trying to make a name for yourself. You are going to regret ever trying to threaten me you little bitch!" The longer I allow him to rant the more violent and vulgar he becomes. I can almost visibly see Sam radiating angry tension. With Clint, I can feel him edging closer and closer to me, ready to protect me should he decide to make a move. I start tuning out his rant around the second time he calls me an "ignorant little bitch" and wait for him to finish.

Fifteen minutes after the beginning of his rant, I am sitting in my chair trying to suppress the giggle that once to force its way out of my body. I think I am succeeding until Colonel Reynolds stops mid thought and shouts,  
"WHAT, IS SO FUCKING FUNNY TO YOU MS. ROBERTS?!" There is spit flying from his mouth as he yells this.  
"The fact that you think that you are doing anything to further your cause, Colonel Reynolds. JARVIS can you play a small sampling of this rooms recordings so far?" I say with a serene smile plastered on my face. While inside I am about five seconds from asking Clint and Sam to hide a body.  
"Of course Miss. '… I WILL RUIN YOUR FUCKING CAREER YOU STUPID GREEDY LITTLE CUNT! I WON'T TOLERATE GREEDY IGNORANT LITTLE BITCHES LIKE YOU TRYING TO GET ONE OVER ON ME. I KNOW PEOPLE WHO CAN GET YOU TAKEN CARE OF YOU …' " I interrupt the recording saying,  
"That is enough JARVIS." I have not stopped smiling or making eye contact with Colonel Reynolds since the recording started playing.  
"Now, Colonel Reynolds. I'm sure that your superiors would not be happy with you behavior or comments to me should this recording make its way onto their desks. Since this is one of many meetings released to the public on your official schedule, correct me if I am wrong, but you are expected to present yourself with a little professionalism. It would be even worse if the media were to hear how horribly you treated me." The threat I utter is hardly veiled at all, my intention is very clear.  
The Colonel pales a little realizing I am not just a pretty face.  
"Now are you done insulting my gender, job, and intelligence?" Colonel Reynolds nods his assent, too stunned to use his actual words. "Good now let's get down to business. I'm going to give you two choices, Colonel. The first choice is this, behind me are in fact the personnel files on any and all former SHIELD agents working for Stark Industries. You can walk out of here today with **all **of these files and our sincerest apologies for the political scandal caused by members of the Avengers, but what I have in this envelope and what I have just recorded will be released to the media. Or you can chose option two." Clint has pulled the envelope out of his jacket and set it onto the table in front of me. I sit and wait for the question I know is coming.  
Colonel Reynolds had looked almost hopeful until I got to the downfall of the first choice. "What's the second option?"  
"I'm glad you asked! Option two, you take what is in this envelope. The contents of this envelope are the only hard copies outside of the United Nations classified documents vault, of the investigation into you after the fall of SHIELD and the discovery of HYDRA agents in key positions of government and the military. I will keep the file boxes behind me, you walk out of here with your military career intact and apologize to the Stark Industries employees for the stress you have caused them, as well as to the Avengers for making them look like criminals. Option one you are happy for a short while, but then are miserable for a very long time. Option two you are miserable for a short while, but gain happiness in the long run. I end up happy with either option so it doesn't matter to me." My smile widens as I watch Colonel Reynolds realize either way he is screwed. Either way he loses all political weight with the Avengers and Stark Industries, and I end up coming out on top. I know that he will make one more last desperate attempt to gain back some ground so I sit and wait patiently for him to speak.  
"Pepper Potts wouldn't let you endanger her company like this. I know she wouldn't, you've got nothing in that folder. This is all one big bluff, and I won't buy it for a second. Go fuck yourself Ms. Roberts." He is desperate and lashing out, I understand that, so I don't react. I can't say the same for Clint who jerks forward to try and grab the man in front of me.  
"Clint, enough he is not worth the energy." I whisper quietly while placing my hand on his arm. I look into his eyes and allow him to see that I am not affected by his words. I open the envelope and slide the contents out. The black sealed folder has the UN symbol on it and a large embossed 'CLASSIFIED' stamp underneath. I break the seal on the folder and slide it across to Colonel Reynolds.

"One of the perks of my mother being who she is, is the fact I can enter the UN building without raising any alarm. And to the right people having _**Elizabeth Montgomery**_ for a mother gains you a lot of favors." If Colonel Reynolds had been pale before, he was white as a sheet now.  
"I can tell you are acquainted with my mother Colonel, so I have a few words of advice. If you still think that this is all a bluff, and that I don't have the authority to do this, keep this in mind." I stand up and lean across the short distance with my hands on the table to look the man in the eyes.  
"I am my mother's daughter. You do **not **want to test that theory." I hiss out, holding eye contact. I refuse to be the first to look away and smile in victory as the Colonel looks down at the folder sitting in front of him, he knows he is beat. I look up and smile in victory, then I visibly relax.  
"Well, it looks like my option is clear. I will take this folder with me and apologize ASAP." The defeated tone of his voice is pure music to my years.  
"Should you change your mind Colonel, remember this," I say as I pull a flash drive from out of the bottom of the folder. "I do have an electronic back-up and am not at all afraid to use it." I smile as I tuck the small drive into my cleavage and stand to shake the Colonel's hand as he moves to leave.  
"You have one thing correct Ms. Roberts. You are your mother's daughter, and she should be very proud." I am shocked by the Colonel's words.  
"I didn't peg you for a graceful loser Colonel." I say having followed Colonel Reynolds out of the conference room and he turns to respond,  
"I don't have much of a choice Ms. Roberts, do I?" I smile as he continues on to the elevator with Sam and Maria following to escort the Colonel and his entourage out of the building.

I stand grinning for a few minutes in silence, before I look over towards Pepper's office and see Pepper and Tony both practically plastered against the window of her office giving my questioning looks. I wave and give them a thumbs up. Tony bursts out of Pepper's office door saying,  
"Okay time to celebrate, we are going out tonight. Tell everybody, we can meet on the communal level on the Avengers levels. You as payment to Birdman over there can start dating, fall in love with, and marry the man. And everything will be perfect. So I'm thinking like 5 o'clock-ish." As he finishes talking the elevator doors open and he steps inside and holds his hand out for Pepper. Pepper walks past with an apologetic look on her face and rubs my shoulder in an attempt to be comforting.  
"I don't date Tony. But I will take you up on that drink, if I am still allowed up." I chirp back trying to keep my cheery attitude, that has deflated somewhat as Tony has remind me of the elephant in the room.  
"Yep, 5 pm. Don't be late." Tony nearly yells as the elevator doors close on his words.

It's silent for a short while after the doors close before the one person I have dreaded speaking does in fact speak.  
"Why don't you date?" Clint asks while staring intently at the side of my head. I turn and leave him standing in the middle of the reception area. I am almost to my office before I reply without looking at him.  
"Because everybody dies." I enter my office and shut the door. Hoping to shut out the world and my demons for a little while.

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	8. Chapter 8

**Thank you to everyone who has read my story so far. **

**I really hope you have enjoyed it, and will enjoy this next chapter.**

**Please review! I love getting feedback on my stories!**

Ch. 8 Can You Make Me That Promise?

Monday 6pm

I look up as the door to my office opens. Sam peaks his head in and says,  
"You ready to head on up?"  
I smile at him and nod and finish typing an email and move to stand.  
"How the hell have you changed already? You have basically locked yourself in your office all day." Sam say with this flabbergasted look on his face.  
"Joey has a key to my brownstone, and knows what I like to wear." I say as I shrug.  
I stand look to my left ensuring that my outfit still met with my approval. The dark wash, boot-cut jeans I was wearing hugged my curves nicely, and were just long enough to look good when I wore my plain black leather boots with a decent heel. I straightened my coral silk lace camisole and pulled my navy blue deep-v neck t-shirt down into its proper place. I decide that my outfit will do and turn to grab my phone and head out of my office when I notice my right wrist. The thick straight scars dotting the sides of my wrist and the thin branching scars, seem to shimmer in the light. I grab the black fitted and worn leather jacket, and put it on as Sam and I head for the elevator.  
"You know no one is going to make a big deal about your scars, Iris." I give Sam my infamous 'shut up' look and keep walking.  
"It doesn't matter if they would notice or say anything. It's that I don't want people to be able to see them." I say with a straight face. I guess Sam sees the tension my shoulders now hold and decided to try and diffuse it.  
"So was the rest of your day pretty easy?" I groan with frustration.  
The rest of my day had not been a simple or easy day. Everybody and their dog decided that I was the magical problem solver and instead of going to the heads of their departments, they came to me. Most of the time I wouldn't mid dealing with a few inter-department squabbles, but when you have eight different scientists and engineers in your office whining and yelling at each other, you get fed up really quickly.  
"No, everyone decided to drag the smallest problem into my office. Finally I had to pull security to stand outside my door and unless they had an appointment or Joey said it was okay, they were turned away. So then I had Linda still mad at me for this morning, PR was calling about the Colonel's press conference every five minutes, Requisitions was having problems with their ordering system that IT couldn't fix, and Research was having power surges in almost all of the labs, except Bruce's, because of chewed wiring from an escaped lab rat. All of that happened before 3 o'clock this afternoon. So no, my day has really not been an easy day. My nerves are shot." I had not really taken a breath through most of my rant, and was now breathing rather heavily.  
"Sorry to bring up a sore subject." Sam laughs at the frazzled look on my face. "You know I think I can count on one hand the number of times I have seen you look, anything but perfectly calm and put together."  
I look over at Sam with disbelief etched across my face and retort, "I think I can count on one hand the number of times today, that I have felt even a small amount of calm. "

I smile to myself and laugh along with Sam as we arrive at the Avengers' communal level. We are hit with a wave of noise as the elevator doors open and we see Tony in full celebration mode. Whiskey in one hand, and pouring everyone a glass of champagne with the other, Tony looks over at us and ushers us into the rooms saying,  
"Hail the conquering hero, and one of her trusty sidekicks. As they have decided to grace us with their presence. Come eat drink and be merry with us!" The pure glee on Tony's face doubles, as once again, the news station on the TV behind him, starts playing the Colonel's press conference again. I have managed to successfully avoid the news after watching the press conference the first time. Apparently at first the news agencies were calling me 'The Darling of Stark Industries', now according to the pretty blonde anchor, many people were calling me 'The Pitbull of the Private Sector'. I was wondering why I could not be both.  
"Jarvis, can you please turn of that racket on the TV?" I ask not wanting to deal with the media coverage I knew was now going to mainly surround who I was and pure speculation into my meeting this morning. The silence as JARVIS carried out my request was utter bliss. At least for me, Tony apparently had a different opinion.  
"Aww come on, Iris! That was my favorite part." Tony exclaims, but apparently not even that can dampen his spirits, because he continues were the TV left off and continues to sing my praises.

"Thank you Iris. He has been playing that on repeat since it happened." Steve says as he comes over to shake my hand. Bruce come up behind me, as Sam moves away with Steve, discussing where they should continue their search for Sergeant Barnes.  
"Congratulations Iris. Your victory and efforts are much appreciated." Bruce has a small reassuring smile on his face and he rubs my shoulder trying to put me more at ease with this situation. I have never done particularly well in social situations where I was the main center of attention. I especially hated big birthday parties, or celebrations of my achievements. So had I known that Tony was going to make such a big deal about this I would probably not have come.

From across the room I see Natasha motion to a chair across from her. So I skeptically made my way over to sit across from her. I hadn't noticed the eyes following me that happened to belong to a certain sharp shooter. I sit in the indicated chair and look at the glass of champagne Natasha hands me rather skeptically, even though I knew Natasha had at least partially accepted me as a half-way acceptable human being. She was still a master assassin, and I was still rather hesitant of her.  
"Don't worry your drink is safe. I wouldn't poison you with so many witnesses around any way." I assume she thinks that these words are going to be comforting but if anything they make me slightly more nervous. But I take a sip out of my glass as a sign of good faith, and smile at her.  
" So how long have you and Sam, been a couple?" I was surprised by how quickly she changed the direction of conversation. It took me a little while to formulate a response.  
"We aren't a couple. I don't know why everyone seems to think that, I have just known him for a really long time. Close to ten years." I try to reply as evenly as possible.  
"People don't seem to know a lot about you. Except Sam, but he wouldn't tell me anything. Which is impressive considering who I am. Pepper didn't know enough of what I wanted to know. Tony and Bruce were particularly useless, it seems they barely know your name and job title. Bruce was the only one out of the two who knew that last one. Clint seemed to know a little more than the rest. Which is surprising because he has known you the least amount of time. For someone so seemingly open and honest, you seem to have an awful lot you are trying to hide." I was surprised at how much work Natasha had been doing trying to figure out who I was.  
"Everyone has painful moments in their past that they would rather keep hidden. Wounds that they don't want exposed to the open air." I am trying to keep my anxiety in check, but am slowly but surely failing.

"Leave her alone Nat. You don't need to know everything about everybody. If she is passed Hill and Stark's background checks, she doesn't need to be interrogated by you." I had jumped a little when Clint had started talking right behind me. Natasha stares at him for a couple of minutes, as I fidget, then gets up and walks away.  
"Thank you for that. I'm not up for a full interrogation right now, and Natasha can be extremely intimidating." I glance up at him briefly before, returning my eyes to the view in front of me.

"Nat might have not gotten anything out of Sam, but I did. It was an enlightening conversation." He say with little emphasis, like he was talking about the weather or his favorite cheese. Then he starts looking at me with one of those soul searching looks, and I refuse to acknowledge him. He sits in the chair that Natasha had just vacated and waits for my answer.  
"I won't change my mind." I am too mentally and emotionally exhausted, to say much else.  
"I'm a master marksman sweetheart. I can be very patient." He says as he looks out over New York City. I appreciate the fact he is trying to lighten the mood but I am really too drained to give a shit.  
"You can wait all you want. You'll still be human." I say finally looking at him.  
"I am really hard to kill. A surprising number people and aliens have tried, yet here I stand." I can tell he's trying to make a joke but I just stare at him, unwaveringly.  
"But you could still die." He takes a deep breath and turns away from my gaze.  
"IF you can make me the promise you won't die. We don't have a problem. Can you really make me that promise?" I wait for his answer but he just sits there quietly. I take that as an answer, so I get up and walk away.

I head toward the elevator.  
"Hey Pepper, I'm not going to be in for a couple days." The elevator dings letting me know it has arrived and I wait for the doors to open.  
"Okay, sounds good." I'm sure that if I had turned around I would have seen concern or maybe even confusion. But I didn't care, because the man I was running from was dangerously close to breaching my defenses. And I just couldn't allow that. I got into the elevator without looking back.

**Tuesday 12pm.**

My siblings and I called my mother's house The Castle, when we were younger. The name has stuck around. The only reason we can come up with, is that all the rooms and space, reminded us of the palaces and castles we had seen in my mother's native country. My mother is originally from London, England. For some reason, instead of staying in England to go to law school, she came to New York City. Which is lucky for her kids because, it allowed her to meet our father. My mother is this tiny, dark haired, well-mannered Englishwomen with a house to match. Well it matches her big personality anyway. The Castle is a palatial 5 bedroom, 5 bath Tudor style mansion in the estate neighborhood of Riverdale. The outside has stone and exposed timbers, just like you would expect from the Tudor style. Flowers, shrubs, and grasses of all varieties line the gardens in looks like a miniature Eden. My mother loves her gardens, and pays very good money to keep them perfectly manicured. This place is still my home, no matter how long it's been since I have lived there.

My mother had called me earlier this morning, asking me to come by for lunch at noon. So when I pulled into the driveway of The Castle in my Ford Expedition Sport, I'm not surprised to see other cars in the driveway. I just assume that she has invited my siblings to lunch as well. I am surprised when I walk into the foyer, and hear nothing. Not the sounds of my nieces or nephews playing, or the sounds of a lively debate between my siblings. These is only silence.  
"Hello …? Is anybody home?" The only reply I get is complete and utter silence. I make my way into the kitchen and spot movement out a window that looks over the patio. I freeze when I see my father, Sam, Pepper, and Clint all sitting and talking.  
"They came by for lunch." I turn and see my mother watching me.  
"Why did you invite them?" All my emotions are playing across my face. But the main one I assume she sees is that of pure and utter confusion.  
"No, they came by because they are concerned about you. Apparently when you left work Monday you were a little disturbed." She is watching me with an extremely discerning expression.  
"Why is dad here?" I ask trying to change the subject, though I was in fact confused by this. I could understand why my mother was here, it was her house, but not my father.  
"Clint wanted to talk to him. He is a very nice man, a little intense, but still nice." She is smiling and leaning next to me watching out the window with me. Hearing that Clint wanted to talk to my father had me very nervous, but I wait with my mother, in companionable silence, in the kitchen leaning against the island.

I decide that I am tired of waiting for something to happen and step out onto the patio.  
"There is my beautiful girl. How are you my wonderful little girl?" My father has this big booming voice that reverberates through your chest. Once he is finished speaking, he hugs me and I just stand there letting him.  
"It would not hurt you at all to show some enthusiasm, at seeing your father." I turn to see Nana Iris sitting across from the people I had seen from the window. Surrounding her were more people who I had not expected to see. She was sitting with Steve, Bruce, Natasha, and Thor.  
"I didn't know you were here." I try and smile at her, but I am still so confused.  
"Well I wouldn't have been except you are being an idiot." Everyone just falls silent from the shock of my nana saying something very un-nana like.  
"You are running scared. We understand that sweetheart, we really do. You are scared of being hurt, and of having another person you care about leave or be taken away. But you can't shut everyone out." I stare down at the ground. She knows I am listening and continues.  
"When your parent's divorce was finalized, you refused to talk to them until the twins were born. But you eventually got over it, and let your parents back into your life. Roger's death was horrible, he was ripped out of your life sooner than everyone would have liked. You followed a similar pattern, you shut out your friends, family, and everyone else who cared for you. And then you eventually let them back in. But there is one thing that you shut out but never let back in. You shut out any and every chance in the past six years for love. Roger dying is not a reason to shut out love. While you mourned the loss of Roger for six years. What we, your family, have been mourning for the past six years is the loss of you. When he died took the light from your eyes, he took your smile and your laugh. You might still smile and laugh sometimes, but you're just run through the motions. We want you back my Iris. Give the world back that beautiful smile." I was crying, my mother was crying, my grandmother was crying, and I'm pretty sure that I heard a sniffle in the direction of Pepper. I was overwhelmed completely by emotion and by everything happening at once. So I fled back into the house, to try and collect myself

I was leaning practically my entire body on the kitchen island. When I hear someone walk up to the other side of the island. Coming to terms with all of the truths my nana had just lain at my feet. I know I can't hide forever, and that my feelings have come too far to be ignored now. But I was having trouble dealing with the mixture of fear and excitement brewing in my stomach, I wasn't sure if this feeling was good or bad. I bang my head against the granite and let out a long slow breath.  
"So are you alive?" I look up and see the neutral expressions of my twin brothers. I give a half-hearted grunt in reply.  
"So we heard Nana talking. And she's right you know. It's okay to be scared but you can't just shut everyone out." I look at Isaac and Noah, not sure which had just spoken.  
"Beside don't you always tell us being scared is part of the fun?" I know that is Noah, because he is trying really hard to make me laugh, and Isaac would only try to give advice. I shift my head and try to process what he had just said. In my mind, one feeling had to outweigh the other, but why couldn't one enhance the other like any other emotions. What's the old saying people who know pain and loss, feel greater happiness and love. As the revelation hits me, I smile at the fact that two sixteen year olds have triggered an epiphany 6 years in the making.  
"Using my own words against me is cheating you know." I smile and mumble into the granite counter top.  
"According to Josh, cheating only matters in school." I chuckle at that, because it sounds exactly like our older brother.  
"Besides, Roger would want you to be happy. Not to stay alone for the rest of your life." My wise little brother Isaac, just looks at me with his old soul eyes.  
"Using Roger against me is cheating too." I say with a sad smile.  
"Yeah well, I figured I would take a page out of Noah's book." He jokes. They move towards the patio doors, and then they both stop when they realize I am not going to follow.  
"If someone should ask about you?" Isaac asks.  
"Tell him I'm in here, if he asks." I tell them knowing who he was talking about.

I don't have to wait long before I once again hear the patio door open and close. I don't turn around to see who it is, because I am digging through my mother's kitchen cabinets looking for a wine glass, to go with my Moscato.  
"They're worried about you, so don't be angry with them okay." I through a quizzical glance at Clint.  
"Why would I be angry at them, they're right I have been running away from every man who shows even the slightest interest." I am open and honest with him, because I have decided that I will give him a shot.  
"So last night was …?" I look at him and smile. Before answering I turn away and grab a beer out of my mother's fridge, and slide it across the island to him.  
"It wasn't me running away from you. It was me realizing that I am interested in you, and that I could possibly develop feelings for you. I was running from myself and from my feelings." He smiles at this.  
"You do realize that this changes nothing. I will more than likely push you away at every turn." I say, taking a sip from my glass of wine. "But I am going to work on trying to be open to change, and to a relationship."  
He keeps smiling at me, nods, and then takes a swig of his beer.

I shrug out of my jacket, and set it on the island. I stretch my right arm across the island towards him, showing him my scares. He reaches out and traces my scars, and then looks up at me, his question is written clearly across this face.  
"There is a small garden/park thing that my Nana used to walk us to when we were getting restless. It's about three blocks from here. I was six and my Nana had told me to behave like a little lady. Basically to behave like my sister, who at the time always acted like a freaking princess, it might have been because I was wearing a new dress and we were going somewhere. I don't know, but she didn't want me running around with my older brothers. Michael and Josh were climbing trees, and teasing me about having to still be on the ground. So once my nana had turned her back on me, I climbed up this big oak tree in the middle of everything." The way he is tracing the scares feels really nice, and relaxing. I have never liked people touching them, until Clint. He can touch them all he wants, as long as it always feels how it does in this moment.  
"There was a branch about 15 feet off the ground. It was higher up than my brothers, and I had something to prove. I walked out to far on the branch and it snapped. I landed on a glass mosaic table that was sitting underneath the branch and it shattered when I hit. I was cut up really badly, on my wrist and thigh. I snapped my wrist, and dislocated my knee. I don't show my scars, and if people see them, I definitely don't tell them about them. Not because I am ashamed of how I got them, but because I hate how they look and feel. I don't want to draw attention to them. I don't _**let**_ people see my scars, but I am showing and telling you." I look him in the eyes, and wait for a response.  
"Thank you." He looks down at my scars one more time and them puts his hand over them, and grasps my wrist. He sits staring into my eyes, for a very long time before he speaks.  
"I have an idea that might make all of this easier for you." He says after looking up at me.  
"Okay. Shoot." I smile at my clever little joke, wondering if he caught it.  
"Nice." He chuckles and continues, "One date. Tonight we go and get a drink, we ask each other any and all questions we want to know, about the other. If at the end of the night you aren't completely comfortable, we call it quits, no hard feelings." I watch him with amazement.  
"You know, you're not doing a lot to preserve this badass image. Aren't you supposed to be all tough and gruff?" I tease, though if I am being honest, there is a strong flirty undertone.  
"I can be a good guy and a badass, all at the same time. And if I'm not mistaken you were flirting with me." The way he says that, makes me giggle.  
"Okay, one date." I say as I walk back out onto the patio.

**I really hope, you liked this Chapter!**

**What do you think the bar should look like that they go to on the 1****st**** date?  
A Pub? Dive Bar? Upscale?**

**What kind of car should Clint drive?  
Sports? SUV? Flashy? Plain? Or Maybe a Motorcycle?**

**Got an opinion let me know!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Thank you all for sticking with my story this far. I hope you guys are ready for  
their first date! I know I am going to sound like a broken record  
but please REVIEW!**

**A special thank you to Ashes2Dust18 for reviewing and giving me some ideas for Iris and Clint's 1****st**** date!**

Ch. 9 I Hate First Dates!

**Tuesday 7pm**

"This dress is cute. You could wear it with the brown leather, knee-high boots and the knit cardigan." Pepper says as she holds up a sleeveless dress with navy blue and white horizontal stripes and a wide brown leather belt.  
"It's too short. It would show my scars." I dismiss the outfit, I think it's cute and would wear it on any other occasion, but not tonight.  
"Well, how about this one? It's longer than the other, has the same color pallet, and you could wear the same boots as the other dress." Pepper and I have been looking through my closet for the past half hour. This is the first dress combination, I have really liked. It went down just past my knee, the belt that went with the dress would cinch in at my waist nicely.  
"This could work, I really like this outfit! Natasha what do you think?" I holler out down into my living room. Natasha had done my make-up when they had first arrived, but had then relegated herself to drinking the alcohol I had stored in my kitchen. But I now hear her approach up the stairs. When she enters the room, she stops and looks at the outfit we are holding for her inspection.  
"What is he picking you up in?" She asks, while walking towards my dresser to set down her glass of wine. After she sets it down, she turns toward me and crosses her arms under her chest waiting for a response.  
"Umm … …, I have no clue. Some sort of motorized transportation, I assume." I am now unsure of the outfit, we have just picked out.  
"So you don't know if he is bringing the Jaguar or Harley Night Rod?" I stare at her, it never occurred to me that Clint might have a motorcycle.  
"No." She scoffs and shakes her head, and pulls her phone out of her back pocket. She dials Clint's number and waits for him to answer.  
"What are you driving, four wheels or two?" He replies and she hangs up, and puts her phone away.  
"I wouldn't wear a dress if I were you." Natasha says as she makes her way toward my closet. She pushes item after item, out of her way. Looking for something in my closet,  
"You are going to need something fairly warm. When the air is whipping by you, it's going to make it feel even colder. It'll need to be comfortable as well, because you're going to be uncomfortable enough on a first date." Pepper and I were stunned into silence, not because she was helping with the practicality of what I should wear, but because for a moment she actually sounded like she was doing girl talk. Natasha had told us herself earlier today, that she didn't 'do' traditional girl talk.  
"Careful Natasha, you're getting pretty close there to girl talk." I say joking with her. With as much as she has been around, I have gotten more comfortable with her and hope we are on our way to a friendship.  
"The way I see it, if I help keep you comfortable, you will have a better date with Clint. He's happy, and I don't have to see him mope about because you won't go out with him." Natasha arches an eyebrow at me as I start giggling.  
"You make him sound like a stereotypical moody teenage girl. I know because I was that girl." I say trying to quiet my giggles.  
"I have dealt with men all around the world, and one thing I know for sure. They all act like teenage girls, when they don't get what or who they want." She deadpans, and then goes back to searching through my closet. I sit on my bed and stretch out my legs across the width of it.

Natasha finishes digging through my closet fifteen minutes later, she pulls out three separate hanger and a pair of high heeled, biker inspired, black ankle boots. I reach over and grab the clothes he has just placed on my bed and look at them. I am really impressed with her choices, their simple yet classy. A pair of jeans that had fading around the knees. A grey, white, and black fitted plaid shirt, the sleeves rolled at my elbows, but she also had pulled out the knit biker jacket I had just bought.  
"If we add some more color to your make-up, or maybe some colorful jewelry, we can dress up the outfit." Pepper appraises the clothing and my current appearance, the scrutinizing look she is giving me is making me a little uncomfortable.  
"Sit. Pepper's right, I'm going to redo your lipstick and eye shadow. Pepper pick-out some jewelry, for her to wear. Should she have her hair up or down?" Natasha asks Pepper as she moves my face in the direction she needs to redo my make-up. I can hear Pepper looking through my jewelry cabinet, which sits next to my dresser.  
"Would a ballerina bun, or a high pony tail fit under a helmet?" I hear Pepper's voice, right next to me. Then I feel her holding earrings up to my head. "Which pair do you think she should wear? I like the black and silver enamel ones, myself."  
" Ballerina Bun would if I do it right. I like those, they would work with that cuff over there on top of her dresser." I sigh rather loudly as Natasha finishes talking to Pepper.  
"You know I can pick this stuff out myself. I'm a big girl, and have been dressing myself for a long time." I am equal part amused and annoyed with the two women standing in front of me. Natasha rolls her eyes and turns my shoulders so I can see myself in the mirror with my new make-up.  
"Could you have done that by yourself? Let me answer that for you. No you couldn't." I nod in agreement, Natasha is very good with a make-up brush. She had done a winged eyeliner, and shades of silver, grey and black eye shadow to make a smoky eye. She had removed the bright red lipstick and replaced it with a muted rose pink color.  
"When you guys are finished dressing me tonight, do you want to plan my next week of outfits?" I am stunned with what they have done in just a few short minutes. As I am staring into the mirror, Natasha starts on my hair, she leaves a few strands lose to frame my face but most of my hair is pulled back tight.  
"Okay now that, you have her hair finished, she needs to get dressed Clint will be here soon." Pepper chimes in, distracting me from my reflection.  
"Okay everybody out, I appreciate your help. But I draw the line at you seeing me naked before the guy I'm going out with tonight." I joke, suddenly nervous and trying to cover it up with humor.  
"Wear your good underwear, borderline lingerie level. " I tilt my head a little, as I looked quizzically at Natasha. "If you wear your good stuff, it will give you confidence and allow you to be more open. It doesn't mean you are preparing to have sex with him, although if you do, you're already prepared." I nod and usher her out of the room.

Ten minutes later I am completely dressed, and even more nervous. I walk out of my room and head for the stairs, before I reach them I hear the doorbell ring. I freeze and hear footsteps as they move to answer the door.  
"She's still getting dressed, so you'll have to wait." Natasha's voice is almost monotone, but I can hear just the faintest tinge of amusement.  
"I should have assumed you were here when you called and asked what I was driving." Clint's voice drifts up to where I am eavesdropping, and a shiver travels up my spine.  
"Pepper decided she needed help picking an outfit. And then decided I need to join them." I resist the strong urge to scoff, because she did way more than just tag along.  
"Clint! I'm sure Natasha told you Iris is just finishing up getting ready. She'll be down in a few minutes." Pepper's voice is so calm and assured, it puts me at ease. I finally gather the courage to continue towards the stairs.  
"Iris, you better hurry up or Clint will think you're trying to escape down the fire escape." Natasha now sounds slightly bored, which I've come to learn means she is starting to get annoyed.  
"When you picked out these boots, you nixed the fire escape as an exit strategy. My heel would get caught in the gaps of metal and I would fall flat on my face." I joke as I come down the stairs. I have a smile plastered across my face.  
"Sorry I made you wait." Clint just smirks at me.  
"I have a large amount of patience, in a great many things. It's a necessity in my line of work." He is trying to keep me calm and winks at me. Obviously my smile isn't fooling him and he can see my nerves. My greatest fear is that my mouth filter will be overridden by my nerves. This fear is quickly realized.  
"Is that patience all in the field, or does it translate to more private venues as well?" I say with my back towards him as I search for the black leather bag I know is buried somewhere in my closet. I freeze as I realize what I have just said. Pepper is giggling and Natasha is completely silent, and as I turn around I see her trying to hide her grin.  
"Well," Clint chuckles, "You'll just have to find out won't you, … Darlin'" He has moved closer to me while speaking, and I can feel the heat flooding my face as he notices the shiver I get when he calls me his chosen endearment. His smile grows even wider at the effect he has on me.

I have finally found the simple black leather bag with a shoulder strap and turn to transfer some items I might need tonight. Lipstick, Kleenex, wallet with my ID, keys, and various other little knick-knacks. I turn to him and signal my readiness to leave and we head for the door.  
"When you two are ready to leave, there is a spare key under the large apple cookie jar. So just lock up, 'kay." I shout as Clint ushers me out the door. Clint has already made it down the steps as I turn around from pulling my front door closed. I freeze and stare at him leaning against his bike.  
"She's a Harley-Davidson Night Rod Special. Well I guess she looks all Harley, but Stark did some modifications to the function of her that you definitely can't get from the manufacturer." The pride in his voice is evident. He grabs a second helmet of the back of his bike and walks over to me, and places it on my head. He lifts the visor and looks me in the eye.  
"This has a microphone and speakers, so we can hear and speak to each other while we are on the move." I nod in understanding and Clint mounts his bike and pulls on his own bike. Once he is settled he motions for me to mount up.  
"Keep your feet on the pegs, even when we stop. Also on the turns lean with me, but don't over lean." I hear in my ear as I situate myself on the back. "Wrap your arms around my waist and hold on."  
He pulls my arms more securely around his waist, which presses my chest against his back.

I expect for us to go directly to our destination. Instead we ride around the city and watch the light blaze by. Clint obviously does not like traffic or speed limits so he ignores both. He is zooming between cabs and busses, every time I think he gets to close I squeal, squeeze his waist, and hide my face in his back. Thanks to his special helmets, I know Clint hears me and I in return can hear his chuckle each and every time it happens. These occurrences start happening more often, I think he enjoys my reaction. After about forty five minutes, he finally slows down and stops in front of a small hole-in-the-wall restaurant. It's a small, quiet, and non-descript. Through the windows I can see tables and booths, I think I see dart boards and pool tables in the back. I turn around and I am getting ready to ask a question when he starts speaking.  
"It used to be a pool hall, and they turned it into a restaurant. They kept a few pool tables and dart boards in the back. The food is simple but it beats a lot of the fancy places I have been to. They also have some original drinks that Natasha says are pretty good." He is looking nervousely at me trying to gauge my reaction and I turn back toward the building to take a second look.  
"We can go somewhere else if you want I just thought this would be better than your run of the mill bar or pub. But …" I turn back around with a smile on my face and laugh.  
"This place looks amazing, why would we go anywhere else?" I head to the door and Clint beats me to opening it and ushers me inside.

The restaurant has an open floor plan, and this makes it fee a lot bigger. The environment inside the restaurant is warm and friendly. Groups of people who have obviously, never met before having lively debates, about many different topics. Scattered around the edges are little alcoves with tables and chairs that allows for a more private dining experience. You can hear and see people playing pool and razing each other when they miss their shot. I had liked the look of this place the moment I had seen it, but had fallen in love with it after stepping inside.  
"Clint! Where have you been? Where's Natasha?" A large man comes from behind the bar with his arms stretched wide to greet Clint. This man is massive, I am fairly sure that he is even bigger than Thor. He wraps his arms around Clint and pounds on his back in a manly greeting before releasing him,  
"She's elsewhere tonight. This is Iris. Iris this behemoth's name is Anders, he is an old friend." I smile as Clint talks and extend my hand to shake his. Anders pushes it away and gives me a hug that knocks the wind from my lungs and lifts me off of my feet. I am more than a little dazed once he sets me down and starts talking to me, completely ignoring Clint.  
"What's a pretty thing like you doing with a shady bastard like him?" Anders indicates Clint with a gargantuan smile on his face. I laugh at Anders, his infectious happiness is spreading through me and eliminates any nerves I had at that moment. Before I can answer him, he is pushing us towards an alcove and continuing to talk.  
"I'm assuming this is a 1st date. You can't pick a better guy than this one. He saved my life on more than one occasion." Anders says smiling at me before he turns to Clint. "Drinks are on me, everything else is all you."  
Clint nods and looks slightly embarrassed at how big and boisterous Anders has been, drawing the attention of the entire restaurant onto us.  
"So what are we having to drink? You look like you enjoy a nice tequila, I have some pretty great tequila based drinks on the drink menu." Anders hands me the drink menu for me to look over. I do like tequila, but that will put me in an entirely different mindset then what I want to be tonight. I look over the drink list and finally spot what I want, but have to get a couple of clarifications first.  
"The Cuba Libre, are you just saying it's a Cuba Libre and it's really a rum and coke, or do you actually make a genuine Cuba Libre?" Anders looks almost offended.  
"It's the genuine article. I muddle a little lime in with the Bacardi Reserva Limitada Rum. Before adding in the Coke." I am impressed with the quality of the rum he is using, and nod my head.  
"I'm assuming you want your usual?" Clint nods and Anders leaves to make our drinks.

We sit in silence until Anders comes back with our drinks, before we start talking.  
"So you actually going to ask me questions or are you just going to sit there and stare at me?" I tease Clint and he nods.  
"How many siblings do you have?" It's a commendable 1st question.  
"I have 5 in total. 4 brothers and 1 sister. Next." Clint takes a sip of his beer before asking me another question.  
"Are they all older than you?" I love talking about my family, and smile before answering.  
"All but two of them are older than me. The two you met at my mother's are younger than I am." I can see he is going to ask me another question, and before he can ask I cut him off. "Let me see if I can guess your next couple questions. Michael is the oldest and is 35. Joshua is next, but we call him Josh or JT, he is 30. My sister Mary is 29, and is a little over a year older than I am. Then the two babies of the Family are Noah and Isaac, who are 16. Next question professions of my siblings, Michael is a doctor. Josh is an actor. Mary is a very proud stay-at-home mother. And Noah and Isaac are juniors in high school. Finally I'm going to guess you're going to ask about my nieces and nephews, which I have 4 by the way. 3 nephews and 1 niece. Michael has two twin boys named Luke and David who are 5. Then Mary has two Anna who is 3 almost 4, and James who is 18 months. Was I close?" Clint is laughing at this point and bobs his head in the affirmative.  
"I guess we should go over the rest of the basics now. Favorite Movie?"  
"I don't have just one favorite movie. Besides they change with the day and my mood." He nods and continues.  
"Favorite Song?" I cringe slightly, knowing that my theatre geek is going to show.  
"I Dreamed a Dream from Le Mis." He raises an eyebrow but continues anyway.  
"Favorite Color?" I think for a moment, before answering.  
"Any shade of the color Purple." Clint smiles and stares at me for a few moments before he asks his next question.  
"Favorite Memory?" I start bouncing slightly when he asks this question, because I am extremely excited to answer his question.  
"Any Christmas for as long as I can remember. My entire family is together, and we make cookies, sing carols, and give gifts. It's the most time we spend together all year it's pretty magical." I am smiling ear to ear, when I finish my answer. While I was answering his question, I had leaned forward and rushed through the answer with my excitement. Clint is chuckling slightly at the end of my answer and is leaning towards me as well. We are now both extremely relaxed, and having a fantastic time.

"You do know that all this information, is info you could get from anyone who knows me. I am slightly disappointed with your lack of originality." I am joking, but Clint takes my words seriously and thinks for a few moments before speaking.  
"Have you ever been really sick?" I am thrown by his question. I am really quiet for a very long time.  
"Where did that question come from?" I sit in my confusion, and wait for his response.  
"You said you wanted an original question, and it's something I am genuinely curious about." I nod and answer his question,  
"When I was 5, I got the flu really badly. I had a super-high fever, and I couldn't keep anything down. Not even water. None of the medication was working, and the doctors didn't think I was going to make it. My dad wasn't head of oncology yet at St. Mary's, so most nights he was doing the late rounds at the hospital. When he finished his rounds, he would come into my room, and then rock and sing me to sleep. He did this practically every night for about 3 weeks. I don't remember most of this because, my fever practically eliminated my memory of this. No one was optimistic about my survival, I kept just getting worse and worse, until one day my fever was gone. It was there when they took my temp at morning rounds, and then when the nurse came in at mid-morning it was gone. I was out of the hospital about 4 days later." I lean back into my chair and sip my drink and wait for any acknowledgement that he heard what I had just said. Clint seems frozen in time as he process the fact I had just said I had a near death experience at such a young age.  
"So what you're saying is, that at 5 years old, you heard the doctors talking saying you were going to die. Then your fever ridden brain was so stubborn, it decided it was going to hang in there just to piss them off." I laughed at his awe stricken look, but that slowly morphed into a laugh that I joined him in.  
"Admittedly my stubbornness had gotten me into a lot of trouble as well. About three months after I got out of the hospital, I fell out of the tree and broke my wrist." Clint almost immediately stops laughing.  
"So your grandmother wasn't worried about you misbehaving, or you being lady-like. She was worried because you had almost died. Does that disregard for your own life, translate to now as well? Or have you grown out of it?" His scolding tone of voice almost immediately put me on the defensive.  
"I was perfectly healthy by that time. I there would have been no negative consequences if I hadn't fallen from the tree. Besides all of this happened almost 23 years ago, I don't see why you are getting so upset!" The intense stare I was becoming familiar with from Clint was back. Boring into the depths of my soul.  
"You almost died, and then in a remarkable showing of disregard for your own life climbed and then fell 15 feet straight down. Either of those times you could have died. And I am worried now, because it might not be rational, but the possibility of having never met you scares me more than I like to admit." I am shocked and equally touched.  
"You hardly know me, yet you care so much that 23 years ago, something could have happened that would have meant you would never meet me. I don't know whether I think that's extremely sweet or slightly creepy. But I am definitely leaning towards sweet." My anger and defensiveness have melted away, and I smile gently at Clint. The intensity of his stare has not dissipated, just changed slightly to a gentler form of the same look.  
"I'll just have to keep an eye on you." Clint's eyes never leave mine as he reaches across the table to stroke the back on my hand.

Our conversation was interrupted by Anders shouting from the bar, asking if we wanted to order food or if we were waiting for Jesus to return. We laughed for a little while, before we looked at the menus Anders had left for us. I decided to let Clint order for me because he knew what was good, and he ordered for me a pasta dish with a butter, white wine, and lemon juice sauce. Tossed with fresh from the ocean scallops and a side salad with a homemade vinaigrette. While he had a chicken and veggie curry over rice. The menu items were simple and varied, and I am told change from month to month because Anders doesn't like to serve the same thing for too long. We joked and talked about so many subjects from religion to our own moral philosophies. My conversation with Clint was one of the easiest things I had ever done, we moved from one topic to another with a surprising amount of ease for this being our first conversation. As we wrapped up our meal, our conversation wound down as well.

"I'm kinda surprised and hurt that you haven't asked me any questions tonight? Aren't you the least bit curious about my life, or what I did for SHIELD?" Clint is joking, I can tell by that teasing glint in his eyes as he tries to keep a straight face. But the question makes me instantly shift in my chair from discomfort. I don't know if I should tell him, that one of the main reasons Natasha had come over was that she wanted me to know what I was getting into. She had told me that Clint was a very private person, and that he may not talk about certain things right away. But she believed that I needed the Cliff's notes version, before going in so I could make an informed decision. She was doing this, so she said, so that neither Clint nor I got unnecessarily hurt if I ended up being unable to handle what he had done in the past or what he could possibly do in the future. Pepper had also handed over Clint's SHIELD file that she had gotten from HR earlier that day. I listened to Natasha and I read a little of his file before deciding to go through with the date. Which sitting here with Clint, I am extremely happy that I had.

"Natasha told me some of it, she wanted to make sure I knew what I was getting into. She really doesn't want me to hurt you." I wait for a moment trying to gauge his response, before continuing. "And … well, Pepper gave me your non-redacted SHIELD file to read."  
As soon as the words left my mouth, Clint tenses up, and all emotion blanches out of his face and eyes. I realize that he now thinks that I know everything he has ever done, and extremely uncomfortable.  
"I only made it through the physical description, before closing it. I felt like I was betraying your trust and invading your privacy." He instantly relaxes and emotion starts creeping into his face once more. "I want you to tell me what you will when you are ready, and can trust me with that. Although I do have one question, Natasha said something about a circus?" Clint starts laughing at my confused expression, before answering my question with a large amount of hesitation.  
"Of all the things Nat could have told you, she told you about my circus days? There wasn't anything more important she could have told you?" I smile sadly at him, knowing what he is concerned about.  
"Well, she told me a lot, some of which I already knew. Other things, such as the circus bit, I did not. Right now I'm fairly curious about that circus info, so talk Barton." He just shakes his head and starts talking.  
" So … I'm assuming she told you about the children's home." I nod and he continues. "Well, my brother Barney and I had run away. We came across 'Carson's Carnival of Traveling Wonders', two of the main attractions Swordsman and Trickshot, decided to take us in. Swordsman taught me how to fight with knives and swords. While Trickshot taught me to be a marksmen. After a while they tried to get my brother and me to help with some of their less than legal activities. My brother was okay with, while I was not. I left the circus, my friends, my only family, and my mentors behind. I traveled around to different carnivals and circuses, I was a Master Marksmen by this point, they would set up impossible shots, and I would make them. That's when Nick Fury found me, gave me a steady job, and trained me to be a SHIELD agent. The rest I guess you know." I was smiling at him, his story was honest and told me more about what made him who he was than any story Natasha could have told me.

We continued talking about his family, training, and life in the Avengers. After that we started trying to one up each other with embarrassing stories. I told him about the time, when I was the female lead in my high schools musical. I had a costume malfunction, opening night with a packed house, which left me in nothing but my underthings. He tops that story with one about Natasha using him as a decoy to distract an enemy agent without telling him. He had apparently pissed her off, and she had decided to offer him up as bait to a rather persistent man, who wouldn't take no for an answer. We went back and forth for hours telling these stories. I had never felt more comfortable on a first date. He made me feel like I was the only person in the world that mattered. He devoted his full attention to me the entire date and I was just as enamored with him as he was with me.

"Okay, lovebirds. I have given the two of you as much time as I can, but I have to finish cleaning up so I can go home. To quote an old adage 'You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here', so pay up and get out." Clint and I both laughed at Anders who was trying to kick us out as politely as possible. Clint looked down at his watch and his eyebrows shot up into his hairline.  
"It's almost one am, sorry man. We'll get out of your hair." I nearly chocked, on my drink when he said the time. I had not intended to stay out this late.  
"I'm meeting my siblings for breakfast in the morning, so we really do need to leave." I move off my chair, and put my jacket back on. Clint reaches into his back pocket and pull a couple of twenties out of his wallet and slapped them into Anders' hand. They hug each other once more and we get ready to leave, when I notice that behind me in our alcove, is a dartboard.  
"You mean to tell me that there was a dartboard behind me the entire time, and you resisted the urge to show off this entire time?" I joke in Clint's direction. He just kinda nods sheepishly and rubs at the back of his neck.  
"Normally I would show off on a first date. But I wanted this one to be different than all of the others, so I took you to a restaurant instead of a bar, and didn't show off. I tried really hard to make this different than any other first date I have ever been on." I smile affectionately at him, then proceed over to the dartboard. I grabbed three darts from their holder, and walked back over to Clint.  
"I make you a deal, since you put so much effort in to this date. I'll think about allowing a good night kiss, but you have to make the three shots I give you. Deal?" His eyes light up and just takes the darts from my hand.  
"So what's my challenge? Make three bulls-eyes in a row?" I giggle slightly at his charming smile and teasing glint in his eyes.  
"Nope, that would be too easy. I want one in the inner bulls-eye, one in the outer-bulls-eye, and one in the double ring in the 18 point wedge. Also I want them to all line up with each other. Think you can do that?" He chuckles and then proceeds to make every shot, in rapid succession. I hadn't even had time to blink or take a breath, before he had the shots made. Clint turns around and has an extremely pleased expression on his face.  
"So, about that good night kiss." He approaches me and places his hand on my lower back. I freeze for a moment at the electricity I feel coursing up my spine, I look into his eyes as he starts to lean his head down to kiss me. When his eyes close, I lose my nerve and practically jump away from him.  
"So I guess we should be going." I refuse to look back at Clint and head towards the door.

The ride back to my apartment on the back of Clint's motorcycle is excruciating. We don't speak, and we don't touch more than we have to. When Clint pulls up in front of my brownstone, he waits for me to dismount before turning off his bike.  
"I'm sorry if I misread the signs earlier. I thought you wanted me to kiss you?" I look at the ground and try to avoid looking in his general direction. He dismounts and takes hold of my chin, he turns my face to look at him. He pulled me into his chest, and kept me from running away again.  
"I did. I really wanted you to kiss me, and that terrified me. I panicked and ran away." I broke his hold on my chin, and moved out of his arms. I am now terrified that he is going to think I am a complete basket case and not worth his time. But to my surprise he pulls me back into him, so that my back is resting against his chest. He wraps his arms around my waist securing me to him, ensuring I can't run away yet again. Then he presses a gentle kiss to my head, directly behind my left ear and whispered,  
"I know I have told you that I have a large amount of patience. I also have a large amount of endurance, meaning that no matter how many times you run, I will always run after you." I close my eyes and rest my head on his shoulder. I feel safe, and Clint rocks the two of us back in forth for a few minutes before allowing me to pull away. I know that I have to do what I plan on doing so I don't chicken out. I turn around in his arms, slide my hands up to his shoulders and stand up on my tip toes. I then run my thumbs over his cheek-bones, and lean in to his body. Our lips touched and eagerly explored each other. It was a deep, engulfing, yet extremely gentle kiss. We broke apart to catch our breath, before diving back in. He reclaimed my mouth and pulled my body closer, so that we were fully pressed against one another. His hands stayed were he placed them, one on my lower back and the other pulling my head closer to him. Our lips worked quickly against one another, trying to hungrily devour one another. As we kiss time seems to slow down. We move from slow, gentle, feathery kisses to passionate, long, drugging kisses. We finally break apart and are both panting for breath.  
"Wow" I giggle as Clint stares into my eyes with a dazed and lustful glint twinkling in them. We rest our foreheads together and try to catch our breath.

"Can you two hurry this up? Pepper won't let us leave, until Iris tells us how the date went." I bury my face into the side of Clint's neck. Embarrassment coursing through my body as I hear Natasha speak from my door. Clint tenses up and turns slightly to speak to her.  
"Go back inside Nat. She'll be in soon." I giggle slightly and pull away from his embrace. We watch each other and dance around saying good-bye. I lean forward one more time brush my lips against his cheek, as I whisper,  
"Good Night Clint." I turn to walk up the steps to my front door. As I reach the door Clint decides to speak.  
"So, I assume I can call you for another date?" I turn and with the most serious expression I can manage say,  
"If you don't I will be very upset with you. I will be waiting for your call." I open the door and step inside. Barely having time to close my door before I hear Clint start up his bike and ride away. 

**I hope you liked this chapter and were happy with how their 1****st**** date went. **

**What should happen at breakfast with her siblings? Do her siblings support her new relationship? Do her brothers dislike him? Do they like him?  
Should Clint show up at breakfast?**

**Where should they have breakfast? Iris's home? One of her siblings' houses?  
Restaurant?**

**Let me know what you think!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Thank you all for being so patient for this chapter! I rewrote this chapter almost three times, before I got it to where I was at least moderately satisfied with how it turned out. If you have any suggestions as to what you want to happen next. I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

Ch. 10 Who Are You and What Have You Done with My Sister?

"So how was the date?" Nana wastes no time in getting to her point. With barely a breath between her greeting and starting her interrogation.  
"It was good Nana. He took me to a little restaurant, we ate and talked. Then he took me home." I reply to her knowing if I get to detailed, this conversation will turn into twenty questions.  
"That's it?!" Nana screeches into the phone. Causing me to rip the phone away from my ear and hope I won't have any permanent hearing loss.  
"What else do you want me to say?" I am confused and distracted as I cut up strawberries and grapes to add to the fruit salad.  
"No good-night kiss, no heavy flirtation, or heavy anything else. I'm an old widow woman sweetie, I live vicariously through my grandchildren now." I sigh and chuckle under my breath as she tries to guilt me into giving her more information. I tilt my head back and stare at the ceiling trying to figure out what to tell the nosy old woman.  
"I cannot and will not give you all the information you want right now, because Josh will be here any minute. But, what I will tell you is that there was an extremely amazing goodnight kiss, along with a promise of a second date." I hope Nana will be satisfied with what information I have given her. I can practically feel her praising Jesus, Mary, and The Saints through the phone.  
"I am very happy for you sweetheart. Give your brothers and sister my love. And I will get more information from you about this date later, young lady. Don't think I won't." I am about to answer when I hear a knock on my door.  
"I will Nana. And I don't doubt you will. Love you, buh-bye!" I listen just long enough to hear her reply back before I rush to my front door.

I open the door and there stands Josh. He towers over me and is the closet to my father's height. He is incredibly handsome, and quite the wild child. He has the same blue-green eyes that both our mother and I do, but he has our father's dark auburn hair. I notice immediately he has a mischievous glint in his eyes and a face-splitting grin stretched across his handsome face.  
"Who are you and what have you done with my sister?" Josh deadpans.  
"What?" I ask confused by his question. He keeps staring at me for a few more seconds before speaking and smiling.  
"A little birdy told me you went on a first date last night!" I groan and lean against the doorframe, allowing Josh to enter into my home.  
"Can we wait until Michael and Mary arrive, before we start the inquisition?" Josh looks almost offended at my suggestion.  
"How can I claim to be your favorite, if I don't have any information to lord over our siblings?" I laugh and continue on into the kitchen.  
"Do you want coffee or tea?" I ask trying to distract him.  
"Coffee. Just one question Iris, what could that hurt?" I set his coffee and the sugar and creamer on the table in front of him.  
"No … you'll just have to find something else to lord over them. I'm answering any and all questions only once." I return to my cutting board and finish the fruit salad. As I am slipping the large bowl into the fridge, I a brief knock and then I hear it open. The voices of my siblings draw closer to my kitchen.

"You always take forever to get anywhere. I had to get a hyperactive 3 year old and a one year old ready this morning and I was still ready before you." Mary's voice carries into the kitchen, as she nags my brother Michael.  
"I'm sorry. Do you have twin terrors that have made it their life's mission to destroy the entire house? No, so hush it." Michael and Mary continue arguing until they reach the doorway leading into the kitchen. Mary makes her way over to me and hugs and kisses my check, as she tucks a stray hair behind my ear.  
"Where are the kids?" I ask Mary as she peeks in the oven to see what kind of quiche I have made for breakfast.  
"David is watching all four of them today. He's feeding them bagels and then running them through Central Park. God willing, they will be exhausted for the rest of the day so I can get a few things done." I smile and move toward the oven. I grab the quiche out of the oven and Michael wraps me in a one arm hug, and kisses the top of my head.  
"You doing okay? You've had a pretty stressful beginning to your week." The protective older brother being brought out full force in my presence.  
"I'm fine. Sit down and eat." I sit the quiche on the table and turn to grab the fruit salad.

As I return with the bowl of fruit salad and plates, I notice Mary and Michael have gone silent as they watch Josh lean back in his chair as he practically vibrates with anticipation.  
"What the fuck is wrong with you? Are you constipated, too much coffee, or a combination of the two?" I would have laughed if I wasn't so nervous about Josh spilling the beans.  
"Nothing, he's just hungry. I made a tomato, spinach and ham quiche with fruit salad." I try to steer the conversation but I fail miserably as Mary chimes in.  
"No … wait, I know that look, Michael, you should know that look too. He knows something. Something that he is enjoying not sharing a little too much. Come on JT, out with it. I will whip out my mom voice if I have too." Josh makes eye contact with me, silently asking my permission to tell them. Josh wouldn't say anything if I didn't want him too.  
"Well, I was talking to our wonderful mother this morning before coming over, when she told me a lovely bit of information. Which pertains to our dear, beloved Iris." Josh is way too wordy for his own good, and I quickly become annoyed with his over exaggeration of everything so I decide to but in.  
"Oh. My. God. I just went on a date last night. His name is Clint, and we will hopefully see each other in the future." I glare at Josh and then quickly move on. "Who would like some quiche, or maybe a refill on your coffee or tea?" The entire table is quite and staring at me. But I know it won't be that way for long.

I eat in silence for several moments before my sister, quite literally, leaps into action. I am quickly smother by my sister's body.  
" Sweetie, I am so happy for you! I didn't know you had decided to make that decision." She finally releases her death grip from around my neck and grabs the sides of my face.  
"Were did you meet him? What does he do? When can we meet him? He's obviously met Mom but what about dad?" I laugh at her ability to ask so many questions on only one breath. Mary is positively beaming at me, she has been worried for a long time about whether or not I would end up happy or just alone for the rest of my life. I glance over at Michael and notice he isn't smiling, he almost looks displeased. He isn't looking at me, just picking at his quiche.  
"He technically works for Stark Industries. I met him a few days ago … God, it seems like so much longer, on Saturday. When I was dealing with Colonel Reynolds." Michael looks up at me looking even more unhappy.  
"What do you mean 'technically' works for Stark Industries?" I know Michael isn't going to let this go, but I try to avoid his question by answering an entirely different question.  
"I think his title is 'Security Strategist'." This just pisses him off, and he slams his coffee cup onto the table.  
"Do NOT, dodge my question baby sister. Define 'technically'." Josh thinks all of this is one big game so he decides to make matters worse and put in his two cents.  
"Well 'technically' means that he is actually one of the Avengers. Mom said he is a very nice guy, came over to talk to her and Dad." Josh is completely oblivious to the fact that as soon as he said 'Avengers', Michael completely froze. Michael had a very different opinion on SHIELD and the Avengers than my mother or I did. "Apparently Iris flat told him that he didn't have a shot in hell. So he tracked down our parents and talked to them and Nana. Nana apparently talked her into giving him a chance." Mary was smiling at the story while trying to avoid Michael's line of site. I sit down my fork and wait for the tidal wave of anger boiling under my brother's skin to rage out of control.  
"So he is a murderer." I suck in a breath quickly at the cold, hateful, angry tone that Michael spoke with.  
"He's a hero." I retort slightly annoyed with his line of thinking.  
"He KILLED PEOPLE for MONEY, Iris. So no murderer, isn't the correct term. Maybe mercenary or assassin would be a better title." Mary and Josh have both shut up and are staring at us warily. Josh looks like he is getting ready to say something, when Mary grabs his attention and quickly shakes her head.  
"He did what he was told to do. Just like any soldier would. He helped save New York and keep people safe." Michael stands while I am speaking, turning his back to me and leaning on the counter behind his chair.  
"What part of 'he killed people for money' doesn't bother you? Those orders you were saying he got, were from a nameless, faceless intelligence agency. Who it turns out was infiltrated decades ago by a Nazi splinter group. So you shouldn't feel too great about him 'just following orders' Iris!" He just kept getting louder and louder. The inflection in his voice get growing in hate and malice, to the point that I didn't know if it was directed at me or the man I had just gone on a date with.  
"Also if we're going to go off your track record for dating men who just follow orders, let's take a look at Roger shall we. He was a soldier, you fell in love with him, and then HE DIED. You have really SHITTY LUCK WITH MEN IN THAT CATEGORY IRIS." It felt like the entire world had stopped turning. I couldn't breathe, my heart was racing, and I had tears brimming in my eyes that I refused to let fall. Here was my brother, someone who was supposed to love me and protect me from harm, hurling such hate filled words directly in my face. I took a moment to gather myself just enough that I knew my voice would not waver.  
"Get. Out." Michael is slightly dazed finally realizing what he had said through his anger. He tries to speak, but I cut him off.  
"GET OUT! Get the FUCK OUT of my house. I had enough guilt, anger, and anxiety to last a lifetime, without you piling more on me. I did not need you to go throwing Roger back in my face, or adding any more doubts about my dating again back onto me! I have finally gotten to a place where I don't feel guilty about dating someone after Roger, and you FUCKING RUIN IT! I was happy, and I had hope for the future and you tried to destroy that. I thought you were supposed to protect me and help me find happiness, not hurt me and try to kill my hope at this happiness." Mary walks around the table and wraps her arms around me, trying to calm my shaking body. The tears I have tried to prevent from falling are now streaming down my face.  
"I'm not even going to give you the option to shut up and stay. I thought about it, but no. I just want you to get out. Leave. You just need to leave." Michael does not move or show any signs of life for a few minutes. But finally he does get up to leave. He grabs his jacket of the back of his chair and walks out of the kitchen. He slams the front door when he exits my house, and the shockwave flows through the house, silencing everything. I pull myself out of my sister's grip and move to the window seat in my living room, and watch my brother drive away.

I stand there long after I have seen Michael get in his car and drive away. I hear the low murmuring of my two remaining siblings in the kitchen. They must have made a decision because Mary comes over and sits on the window seat next to me.  
"He shouldn't have said what he did to you, Iris. But you remember how much more protective he got over you when Roger died. While Mom and Dad where saying you'd be fine and to just give you time. Michael was working to try and save you. And Michael was the one to save you, quite literally, and bring you back to life. It changed him Iris, he saw how broken you were after Roger, and refuses to see you get hurt again, and right now, he's scared you will get hurt. I'm not defending him, no matter what he was feeling or what was happening, what he said was inexcusable. But he wants to make sure you are going to be safe, above all else, except the health and safety of his kids, he wants you safe and out of harm's way." The only acknowledgement I give my sister that I have heard her words is a large sigh, as more tears stream down my face. Josh sees that I am crying again and maneuvers himself behind me in the window, wrapping his arms around me and squeezing.  
"I'll do talk to him, Iris. Make him see what a Royal Jackass, he is being. I'll make him see that he needs to apologize and give this guy a chance. Although I don't think the 'Shovel Talk', Michael and I had planned will be up to par." One of my life's true constants is that no matter what Josh can make me smile. I chuckle lightly under my breath and wipe away the last of my tears. Mary squeezes my knee and smiles at me warmly, happy that I have finally stated smiling again.  
"I don't think _**any**_ shovel talk you could come up with would work. He has fought off an alien army, what could you possibly say that would be scarier than that." Mary laughs at this and I can feel Josh chuckle from our position.  
"While I am happy for you having a new man in your life. You do realize that isn't a normal item on the boyfriend resume, right?" Josh starts laughing again, and I just shake my head and giggle.  
"I know, but normal is so overrated."

**Later Wednesday, around 5:30pm**

Around two o'clock this afternoon, after Mary and Josh had left, I got a call from Pepper inviting me to a Girls' Night at the Tower. Apparently upon finding out that there may soon be another non-Avenger person in the group, it was decided I should meet the other non-hero members of the group. There would be people I already knew, Pepper, Natasha, and Maria Hill. Along with two people I didn't Jane Foster and Darcy Lewis. Pepper tried to play up how excited they were to meet me, but I could sense the ulterior motives in the way Pepper was speaking, and I also sensed that my mother had something to do with it. But I agreed to meet them at 5:30 to talk, cook, and eat.

I hope that I am able to hide my anger, after my siblings had left the hurt I had felt turned to rage and anger. I was sitting in the cab with my eyes closed when we pulled up in front of the tower. I lean forward to pay the driver, just as my door opens. I turn to look and see none other than Sam Wilson smiling at me, and waiting patiently for me to exit the cab. As I step out of the cab I catch a quick flash of worry cross Sam's face. My suspicions are confirmed that my mother had something to do with tonight. "Your mother called Pepper, she told her as much as she was able to, about what happened today. Pepper called me and we both thought you could use a distraction." I almost wanted to be mad at the both of them, but the earnest expression on Sam's face, kept the anger at bay.  
"So are you going to be joining us at Girls' Night?" I ask with a smirk spreading across my face.  
"Naw, when Tony found out that Pepper was serious about not letting us eat with you gals, he decided that we were having a 'Guy's Night'. Bruce is helping cook and then we are going to eat elsewhere." This makes me laugh and we continue into the building. As we cross to the elevators Tony's private elevator opens and we cautiously step inside.

"I don't think I have ever seen you and your siblings fight." Sam states. I groan because I had hoped we were dropping that conversation.  
"All siblings fight. This is no different." I try to answer with as few words as possible with hope Sam would pick up on the hint.  
"Normal families fight, yeah. But your family isn't normal, you get along better than any family in the history of families." Sam keeps pressing forward, either not picking up on the hint or completely ignoring it.  
"Well, I'm not in the wrong so I'm not going to apologize." I snap, the seething rage hidden on the surface threatening to unleash itself on Sam if he doesn't pull back on the questioning.  
"I'm not sayin' **you **should apologize. I'm just saying you need to keep talking to him. Shuttin' your brother out won't solve anything. From what I remember of him, it might just piss him off more." I glare at Sam, unable and unwilling to accept his words of advice.  
"He's pissed?! I'm not the one who threw the death of the love on my life in his face. Do you not realize how hurtful that was to me? He has to apologize before I even consider talking to him." I cross my arms and close myself off, not wanting to speak on the subject any farther. We apparently finished speaking at just the right time, because as soon as I had collected myself the doors to the elevator opened. The first thing I notice is the smell of ginger, spicy peppers, and other spices simmering. I look towards the kitchen and can see Bruce and Pepper cooking with an audience. Natasha and Maria are sitting on two barstools at the counter looking into the kitchen watching and talking to the women on the opposite side of the counter. Dr. Foster and Darcy are leaning against the counter, each with a glass of wine. From deeper in the depths of the room I can hear the men talking from where I assume the bar must be just out of eyesight.

Once Sam and I step out of the elevator, all attention is drawn to us as people move to greet and welcome us.  
"I thought this was a Girls' Night?" I quip sarcastically, mainly for Pepper's benefit.  
"Then why did you bring fly-boy over there?" Darcy replies with an equal amount of wit and sarcasm. I smile, because I have finally found another just as sarcastic as I am.  
"What you mean Sam?" I ask throwing a thumb in his direction. "He's not a guy, he's classified in the friend category, so is allowed at Girls' Night proceedings." Sam looks mildly offended and walks off to join the other guys at the bar. Darcy nods her head once and smiles.  
"Well since Darcy doesn't appear to have any interest in introducing herself I'll do it for her. I'm Jane Foster and this is my intern/assistant Darcy Lewis." I shake the offered hand and smile at the kind tiny woman in front of me.  
"I've heard great things about you Dr. Foster. Pepper and Tony were very excited when you agreed to work for Stark Industries. I even read a couple of your papers, during our hiring process. I understood practically none of it, but I still read them." I joke. Jane seems to find this amusing and laughs right along with me.

After introductions were made to the only two people in the room whom I hadn't met. I joined the conversation being had about food with the women gathered in the kitchen. From the very beginning of the conversation I noticed both Bruce and Natasha watching me. Bruce is more discreet, where Natasha is just openly staring at me.  
"So what's eating you?" Natasha asks rather directly. "I assume it has something to do with why your mother called Pepper, and the subsequent dinner party that is taking place." I mentally groan, before replying.  
"Nothing. I'm perfectly fine." I say, trying to brush off the question, but quickly realize I am going to be unsuccessful.  
"No you're not. You're wound tighter than an old clock, and you are barely able to keep you anger in check." My grip on my wine glass tightens as Natasha keeps pushing the issue.  
"I was going to ask myself, if there was anything I could help with. I know a little something about anger." It's when Bruce's words reach my ears that I notice it's not only the people nearest to me that are listening to the conversation, but the entire room. Including the attention of a certain archer. I close my eyes and take a deep breath.  
"It's nothing I can't handle. Just a little fight amongst siblings, it'll be fine." I say trying to convince not only the other people in the room, but myself as well.  
"Must have been some fight." States Maria while giving me an appraising once over. I notice out of the corner of my eye Clint talking to Sam, or trying to but Sam just shakes his head.  
"If you want, I can swing by his place, put the fear of god in 'em? I could even bring along Clint and Steve as back up. Who wouldn't ease up with Captain America glaring at you from your doorstep?" A small smile spreads across my face, when I notice something I didn't expect. Clint looks upset, maybe a little angry about something. A small part of me hopes that he is upset because I'm upset. Or maybe he's a little jealous that Sam knows something that he doesn't. Either way it makes me feel good that he cares enough to be upset.

Pepper walks over to me with a new bottle of wine and a plate of food. She refills my glass and sets the food in front of me on the counter.  
"So we eat and you get to vent about what your brother said to you. Then the rest of the girls will decide if Sam and the guys need to step in and sort it out. Okay?" I look at Pepper with disbelief.  
"We have Natasha and Maria why would we need the guys for anything?" I ask.  
"I have my Taser in my bag, if we need it." Darcy chimes in. I laugh then continue.  
"See, two super spys, an intern with a Taser, a physicist with, what I am assuming is a working knowledge of chemistry?" I look at Jane for confirmation and she nods. "And we are two of the most powerful business women in the United States. Why would we need the guys for anything at all?" Pepper and the rest of the women smile and chuckle, but Darcy turns her full body towards me.  
"You're cool and all but guys are kinda the way I lean. So I need them for sex and cuddling and stuff." I choke on the mouthful of wine I had taken, after I finished speaking.  
"That is a valid point." I say trying to suppress the giggles. This eases tension, and allows me to open up about what happened today between Michael and myself. The group of women at the table with me have gone silent, by the time I have finished my tale. I'm crying, and the rest are reacting so much stronger than I would have expected. Jane and Pepper look like they are about to cry. Darcy got up when I finished, to grab her purse, and is checking her Taser. Natasha and Maria's expressions have gone completely neutral, and are just staring at each other.  
"We'll my Taser is in working order." Darcy says polishing her Taser. Maria arches an eyebrow, and then looks back at Natasha and nods. They slip back into what I am assuming is a silent conversation.  
"From all of the things you have told me about your brother, I just can't understand why he would say something like that." Pepper says dabbing at her eyes, her voice has a little quiver running through it. The amount the people around me care about my well-being, is making tears well up in my eyes.  
"I'll hold him." Maria says as she turns her attention back to me.  
"I'll hit him." Natasha follows up, and Darcy once again chimes in.  
"Then I'll taze him." I laugh and shake my head at the overprotective vibe now flowing through the room. Then I start cracking up. 

"No one is holding, hitting, or tazing my brother." I say laughing the entire time. I don't know why I find this situation so funny, but I am unable to stop my laughter.  
"So, what are you going to do?" Jane asks the concern evident on her face. I wipe the laughter tears off my cheeks and take a couple of deep breaths.  
"Wait until he apologizes, then rip him a new one for being an insensitive ass." I shrug it off, and try and keep my mood on the high it is on.  
"Well I think that sounds like a very reasonable plan, but if you need anything, we're here and will be more than willing to help you." Pepper says leaning over to me and resting her hand on my arm. Our quite moment is interrupted by a mistimed comment.  
"Just let me know if you think tazing him will help." Darcy says as she looks longingly at her Taser. Pepper and I are on the verge of coming completely undone by our giggles when the unexpected happens.  
"Enough with the fucking Taser, Darcy! We get it you are extremely fond of your Taser!" Jane snaps, which causes Darcy to freeze for only a second, before nearly everyone at the table bursts out laughing. This laughing is not the polite laughter of a group of people who don't know each other very well, but of a group of friends who have known each other their entire lives. Full body shaking laughter, with tears running down our faces.

The men slowly drift across the room when they hear our laughter and join us at the table.  
"What's so funny?" Tony asks looking at the four of us who can't even breathe properly because of our laughter. Pepper is the one who is trying to calm down enough to answer him, but I can tell she is going to fail miserably.  
"Darcy … … she offered … … to taze Iris'… … brother." Her giggles break up her talking and she just leans her full body into Tony, when she is done speaking. The faces of Thor and Steve show extreme discomfort.  
"That is not a pleasant experience. It would be most unwise to allow Darcy to do so. Unless you do not wish your brother to speak with you ever again." I smile as I realize that even though he doesn't know me that well Thor wants to help, at least a little bit.  
"Yeah, I've been on the business end of those things, they ain't fun." Steve chimes in while rubbing his ribs, as if he is experiencing a phantom pain. All the men surrounding me are just being super welcoming and warm with me.  
"It's not going to happen unless, he does or says something unforgivable. Such as if continues to insult me or the people I am associating with." I lean back into my seat as I finish speaking and my shoulders hit a warm solid mass that had not been there before. Clint leans down to whisper in my ear.  
"You alright?" I smile and nod and lean back into him. He places his hands on my shoulders and lightly rubs my shoulders and neck. The conversation is flowing around us, as I come to a rather heartwarming realization. There may still be some insecurities on the big picture of my relationship, but right in this moment I am perfectly content and happy with the budding relationships. Whether it is the romantic one with Clint, or the many friendships that are just forming.

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I have just one favor to ask of you, please give me a review, if you have any ideas about where to go from here I would appreciate it!  
Thank you once again for reading my story!**


	11. Chapter 11

**I hope you all enjoy this chapter! It's just a little filler chapter to get to the next development in the story. It also establishes some relationships more.  
Read and Enjoy!**

Ch. 11 Are You Going to Stop Being the World's Biggest Asshole?

The conversation flowing around the table was easy and carefree. Everyone was telling stories some about past missions, although no matter how much Tony poked and prodded, Natasha and Clint wouldn't tell him what happened in Budapest. Instead Clint decided to change topics and tell the Story of how they learned they couldn't play Monopoly or any other table top game, because it usually ends with the game burned beyond recognition or a hole in the floor or wall. Mainly because Tony is being a jerk and gloating about how he is winning. Tony didn't appreciate that so he countered back with his own story about how they had to hide the "Bop It", because Clint got to focused and serious about the game.  
"Really? Bop It, is your game of choice?" I say teasing the man who has finally decided to take a seat next to me. Clint looks an equal mixture of embarrassed and annoyed at the story.  
"It's not a problem as long as no one else is playing it. If they are I get this uncontrollable urge to beat there time." He says, trying to avoid my gaze this makes me smile as he continues. "It's not that big of a deal." Clint rubs the back of his neck and looks over at me, taking in my face-splitting smile.  
"All right everyone here has told a funny and/or an embarrassing story, except Iris. So spill girly, tell us those deep, dark, and hilariously embarrassing stories." Tony says with an almost comical eager three year old expression on his face.  
"If you insist Tony. I guess I can come up with one." Trying to find some wiggle room in my story telling, I can see that Tony will not be letting me out of it. He makes a little gesture for me to continue.  
"It's not so much embarrassing for me, but rather my older sister. I would like to preface this story by saying Mary is extremely intelligent, but used to lack the common sense awarded to a three year old." Sam looks over at me and starts to smile, he has heard this story a couple of times before and enjoys it every time.  
"So when we were in high school we went on these things called mission trips, we went to different towns and helped people in the area who weren't able to make necessary improvements to their homes. Some groups did painting, built fences, or maybe even did some roofing. But all were things that they couldn't do themselves. The places that we went there would be hundreds of high school students coming together to help this community." Steve looked impressed and he smiled fondly at me.  
"That's really cool, that so many young people would sacrifice their time to help others." I smiled and nodded.  
"The groups of people you work with are not the people you came with, you are divided up into groups of five or six. Four or five teenagers and one or two adults, from all over the country. Well on of the adults who went with our group to chaperone us, found out that my sister had a little crush on one of the boys on his work crew. She was probably 16 at the time, and the boy was about the same age. Well Brian, the chaperone, decided he was going to play a huge elaborate practical joke on my sister. He got practically everyone in the camp involved with it, by the end of the joke. He was able to convince her that Michael, the boy she liked was really going to transition into a women named Michelle. They spent the entire week convincing her that this was the truth. So Mary spent the entire week making sure she knew what pronouns to use and by what name he wanted to be called. There was even another Trans woman in Michael's travel group, and she helped out with making the prank semi-believable. She thought it was more hilarious than any of the rest of us." I pause to try and suppress the giggles threatening to spill out as Darcy, stares at me with disbelief.  
"That's not so unbelievable that it could have been happening, I mean being a teenager and figuring out your gender identity isn't so uncommon." I nod in agreement with Darcy's statement and forge ahead with my story.  
"We never really expected the prank to go beyond Wednesday of that week, so when it did everyone started dropping huge obvious hints. Like earlier in the year Brian, had been able to convince Mary that the word gullible wasn't in the dictionary. He was also able to convince her that there was a place called Gullible Land with a population of one. So members of our group started bringing up that incident and how my sister would believe anything she was told. Lana the member of Michael's group that was helping us with believability, started pointing out the glaring holes in the prank and story, **in front of my sister. **It got to the point that people were walking up to her and basically flat out telling her she was being pranked and she still believed the story." Everyone in the room was waiting for the conclusion, to the story, staring at me, waiting for me to continue. So I decided to sit and wait for a few moments.

"Are you kidding me?! You don't get to just stop telling the story at the best part! What happened, how did your sister end up finding out? Also I am really hoping that your sister married that boy, because that would be a perfect story to tell her kids someday!" I was laughing at the unexpected outburst from across the table. Maria looked slightly embarrassed that she had lost her cool like that and quickly went back to acting like she was just listening politely.  
"Well, we had this A-frame that had hundreds of envelopes hung on it. On each envelope it had one name of a person at the camp. So my sister had one, Michael had one, and so did everyone else. Well you write notes to the people you met throughout the week and you aren't allowed to read them until you are in your vehicles driving away. So Brian wrote Mary a 2 page note documenting the whole prank from start to finish. So the day everyone was leaving my sister hugged Michael/Michelle, which is what we call him to this day, good-bye and we got on our little bus to go home. Brian's wife, Barb, passed out the envelopes and everyone started going through their own notes from their friends they had made that week. But at the same time listening to the back of the bus where my sister was sitting waiting for her to find the note. We didn't have to wait long. It was almost completely quite on the bus when all of a sudden we here my sister go 'what?! Goddamn it Brain! Barb do you know what he did?' When my sister was finished whining, the entire bus erupted in laughter, at which point she figured out we all had known the entire time. She was so pissed at us, she didn't talk to me for almost an entire week." When I finish the story and start looking around the table for a reaction, I am met with a bunch of blank stares, and then the room erupted. 

Jane's head just kind of thunked her head down onto the table and her shoulders are shaking with laughter. Thor's booming laughter is threatening to start shaking the windows. Steve is just rubbing his hand over his face trying to hide just how much he enjoyed my story. Pepper and Tony are laughing while holding on to each other. Pepper looks like she is trying to hide her face in Tony's chest but is not currently capable because of how hard she is laughing. Natasha is smiling and letting out a small chuckle now and then which I will take as a win. Maria looks extremely satisfied with the way my story ended, with Sam besides her grinning ear to ear, he really never stops loving that story. I don't need to look at Clint I can feel him shaking with barely contained mirth. But Darcy is the one to speak up first.  
"So you and your sister are still in touch with this Michael guy? Cause you said you still call him 'Michael/Michelle'" I grin and nod.  
"Yep, she married his older brother." The room practically froze when I revealed the last piece of information.  
"No. Way." Everyone's stunned expressions, were the true reward of telling that story. Darcy's words are and accurate expression of everyone's feeling except for Maria.  
"I knew it. Not the brother part that was a twist, but everything else, that I knew." I smiled at her triumphant expression and once again relax into Clint's side.

Tony is just about to speak, when he is interrupted by JARVIS.  
"Miss Roberts, you have a rather large group of visitors waiting for you in the lobby. I do believe that it is your family." Which stuns me enough to wipe the smile off my face. My family had never once visited me at the Tower before, and I was shocked they were doing it now.  
"On screen JARVIS." Tony says, as a screen on the wall in front of me lights up with an image of my entire family, niece, nephews, and all. Standing in the lobby waiting patiently.  
"Wow, he wasn't kidding, when he said it was a large group." Jane observed.  
"Are all of those people related to you?" Darcy asked slightly amazed. I kinda nod, and as I do I feel the stupid silly grin I get on my face when my family is all together start to spread across my face. But almost as soon as it starts it is wiped off as I see my brother Michael standing in the back of the group.  
"Want to invite them up?" Tony asks. Everyone is waiting for me to answer, but before I do, I look up at Clint's face for reassurance that this is the right thing to do.  
"I'll be right here the entire time. I'd like to see anyone try and get rid of me." The kind but serious expression on his face tells me all I need to know. I turn back to Tony and nod.  
"Let's invite them up, JARVIS. Open my private elevator, it's going to be the only one big enough to fit all of them." With a slight delay after Tony speaks, I see the slightly startled expression on my families face's when they hear JARVIS inform them of what to do, not expecting the disembodied voice.

My family getting on the elevator seems to be almost everyone's cue to get up and move away from the table. Pepper goes into the kitchen to clean up with Tony tagging along, they are nearby if needed and Sam moves so he is sitting in the kitchen to talk to Tony. He apparently didn't want to be far either. Clint never moves from my side, a huge source of comfort to the anxiety raging inside my mind. The rest of our party is moving to the far reaches of the room. But all from what I can tell have a particularly good view of what is going on at the table. We don't have to wait too long after everyone is settled in their new seats before my niece and nephews burst forth from the elevator and rush over to me. I leap up from my chair and throw open my arms allowing myself to be bombarded by their little bodes. I go around the group hugging and kissing them. Trying to listen to all of their talking all at once. I look up and see by Brother-in-law (Name) grinning at me, I straighten up and push through the throng of little bodies to start hugging the bigger members of my family. To Michael's credit he does not put me in the awkward position of whether or not I should hug him, and stays out of line of hugs. My mother tilts my head down and kisses my forehead, and my father leans over and leans his cheek onto the top of my head while he rubs my back. I turn after extracting myself from my parents to where I assume my Nana will be, but to my surprise she is not there. Instead I see her standing beside my brother glaring at him. I am particularly surprised by the amount of anger and disappointment the look is expressing, Michael is practically withering under her gaze.  
"Well don't you have something to say?" Michael winces at the stern tone my Nana is using, I almost feel bad for him.  
"Would you be willing to speak with me?" Michael looks upset as he speaks, not with me but with himself.  
"Depends. Are you going to stop being the world's biggest asshole?" I quip not quite ready to be completely civil with my brother.  
"Aunt Iris! You said a bad word, you're not supposed to say those kinda words!" My twin nephews yell at almost the exact same time. I sigh and rub my forehead knowing that if my brother and I are going to say what needs to be said, the curse word patrol couldn't be within hearing distance. I turn my attention back to my nephews to apologize, when I notice Luke and David's shirts. On one was Captain America and the other was a picture of Thor.  
"I'm sorry, I said a bad word in front of you guys. So I want to make it up to you guys okay?" When they nod their heads, I turn around to the large group by the window. "Hey you guys mind keeping these guys entertained for a while." I motion at their shirts, and Thor and Steve nod in understanding. Luke and David's faces light up like Christmas trees, once they set eyes on their heroes. Once they are thoroughly absorbed with their heroes, I turn my attention to Anna and James both smiling and giggling. I know instantly which duo I will pawn them off on.  
"Hey Jane want to show my niece your telescope? And Darcy he likes any type of music he can dance to, so have at it." They both approach, Anna and James quickly latch on to their respective person and are carried away.

"Well I have to say this is just a beautifully designed room. I didn't know what to expect, but it certainly wasn't this." My mother is babbling because she is trying to keep the atmosphere light and easy-going.  
"Thank you, Ms. Montgomery. I worked with a lot of extremely talented people while it was being constructed." Pepper responds. I look over at my mother and see the worry etched deep on her face. She taught us when we were younger to love and protect one another, so seeing us at odds now, hurts her deeply.  
"Relax Momma. Michael and I can't get in a yelling match with children in hearing distance." I motion for everyone to sit down at the table everyone had recently vacated. I don't relax into Clint like I had before, instead I lean forward, and stare at my brother. Josh and Mary put themselves between Michael and myself, while my mother and father sit across from them at the table. Noah, Isaac, and Nana sit across from me. We sit in an awkward silence for a few minutes, I refuse to speak first and wait for someone else to say something.  
"So this has been really productive, but I think someone actually needs to apologize. Iris why don't you start." I whip my head to stare at Josh. The look on my face must have made him realize that he had said the wrong thing.  
"What do I have to apologize for? Michael is the one who needs to apologize!" I seethe, the rage that had been on the verge of cooling now back with a vengeance.  
"I get that you're angry about what I said, but you have known this guy for all of a week. And now you're defending him, you went from zero to sixty." I shake my head at Michael's stupidity.  
"I defended him, because our parents raised us to wait until we know someone to pass judgement. Not only that but you stopped attacking him and started attacking me!" I feel Clint's hand resting on my back rubbing soothing circles. The tears were once again on the verge of falling down my face.  
"I'm not going to just sit here and let you upset Iris, even more than she is already." Clint's voice makes me jump, I didn't expect to hear him stick up for me but I am glad he did.  
"Look I understand that they are both your children, but there comes a time you have to step in and protect the vulnerable one." Clint is now facing my parents and talking to them. "What I first noticed about your daughter was how much strength she has. Then I spent a few minutes and I saw how vulnerable she was under all that strength. Now in the short time I have had to get to know her, I can see how few people she lets close enough to be able to touch that vulnerability. Her family are among the few, I hope one day she trusts me enough to be included in that group. But until that moment, I will continue to defend her. Like the rest of you should be doing." I am stunned into silence yet again. Clint looks down at me and smiles as I lean into him.  
"I gotta say, I really like this guy. He obviously like our sister, and he sticks up for her! What's your problem with him, other than you didn't give your blessing to our sister to start dating again?" Michael freezes up while Josh is speaking, and everything falls into place.  
"This is all because I didn't tell you I was going to go on a date? What was I supposed to do ask your permission? I wanted to see how the date went before I told you guys about it because, I didn't want you freaking out for nothing." Michael looks up at me, and takes a deep breath.  
"But it wasn't nothing! It's rather obviously something!" I am so confused as to why Michael is still so upset.  
"I didn't know that then, and the fact that it went well makes me really happy. What doesn't make me happy is the fact you are fucking pissed, that I am genuinely happy." I hiss, trying to keep my voice down.  
"I don't know why and I am sorry that I upset you so much. I am going to try and hold judgement until I get to know him a little bit better. Although I unfortunately have to agree with Josh, it is a good sign that he is sticking up for you." I nod knowing that it will take a long time before we are back to the way we were. But I am glad that we have made an effort to get back to that point.

Our conversation is drifting to other things, when my nephews ambush us.  
"Aunt Iris!" Luke yells as he throws himself into my lap. Obviously Luke has enjoyed getting to know his demi-god hero.  
"Daddy!" David jumps into Michael's lap, grinning from ear to ear. They both start talking faster than the speed of sound, so none of us can understand what they are saying through their excitement.  
"Whoa. WOAH! Luke, David, slow down or none of us are going to be able to understand you." Michael is laughing and smiling. He loves when his boys are so happy. They slow down just enough to understand that Luke got to ask all the questions he had about Asgard and The Warriors Three. David got to ask about Brooklyn and World War II. One might think that these were weird obsessions for 5 year olds to have, but they had both gravitated towards, and learned everything they could about their favorite heroes, so that when or if they ever got to meet them they would be ready.  
"I did not expect Young Luke to already know so much about Asgard or my friends. He is a credit to you and your wife, my friend." Thor's voice booms from the place he has taken up near Jane and Darcy who are still entertaining the younger of my sibling's kids.  
"It must be a twin thing, because David knew so much, about where I grew up and the war. More than I expected from a five year old. I agree with Thor, you should be really proud of them." Michael just looks between the two men, with an indescribable look on his face. Mary leaned her head on his shoulder, and Michael just looks between his children. I nudge Luke over towards his father and my brother pulls both of his children into his lap, hugging and kissing them both.  
"Thank You, it means a lot to me that other people think their good kids." I smile knowing how much of my sister-in-law, my brother sees in his children.

I usher my family back into the elevator a few hours later, trying to get them out of everyone's hair. While I enjoy my family, I know they can be a little intense and overwhelming. Clint and Michael still had not spoken that much to each other, but some progress had been made towards the end. My niece Anna had fallen in love with Jane, and had wowed her with her knowledge of the stars. James had danced and entertained Darcy, the entire time he was in her presence. All of which was expected, except for Nana's reaction to the group. As much as Nana talked to everyone else, she seemed almost preoccupied with Steve, I need to remember to ask her about it later. Once they have all gotten into the elevator, and the doors have closed, I collapse against the door.  
"Do you want me to take you home?" I look at the handsome archer in front of me and just nod. He grabs both of our jackets and hits the elevator button, ushering us into a different elevator than my family. I don't even say good-bye, but I hear the yelled good-bye coming from the other side of the door.

**Please let me know, if you like the direction this story is going.**

**Also suggestions are always appreciated!**

**So PLEASE REVIEW!**


	12. Chapter 12

**I'm sorry that this chapter took so long to get out! I got stuck about half-way through it and just had to step away from it for a little bit. But now here it is and the next chapters shouldn't take so long to get out. I hope you enjoy this chapter, because I enjoyed writing it.**

**Read and Enjoy!**

Ch. 12 There Are Things in Everyone's Past They Would Rather Forget

The ride to Nana's home in Park Slope, Brooklyn is excruciating. Mary has been nagging at me for the entire trip. She doesn't understand how much my anxiety effects my life, one moment I will be perfectly happy sitting next to the man I am attracted to, the next as soon as he drops me off at my house I am practically sprinting for the door. It is frustrating for everyone around me, especially me. I want to be able to have a normal relationship with someone. Before Roger, I didn't have this problem, and Mary just doesn't understand why I can't go back to the way I was.  
"But you just left him on the curb? You two were doing so well, what happened?" I sigh, this has to be the tenth time she has asked me that question.  
"Yep. Nothing happened, physically any way. It's just something triggered me to start thinking, my mind won't let me get past the fact that Michael and I are still not really talking. It's like there is a big neon sign in my brain with an arrow pointing at my date with Clint as the reason Michael and I had our fight. Which leads to a whole bunch of other thoughts that causes the anxiety to build." I say, once again hoping that she will understand this time.

When we pull up in front of Nana's house, I hope that the discussion will be tabled for a later date, but that would have been entirely too lucky.  
"I don't believe you! You just let him drop you off, and then you walked away?" I turn in my seat to look at my sister.  
"Can we please drop this topic? We keep going in circles and it's making me dizzy." She still looks confused but nods and moves to get out of her Ford Escape.

I have always loved Nana's Brooklyn Brownstone. It had this beautiful façade and looked so well kept. My favorite part of her home was the story behind it. Both Nana and my Grandfather got married before they both left to be a part of the war effort. Nana was a nurse in the Army Nurse Corps, and my grandfather was an enlisted man. When they got back with both of their salaries they could afford to buy a little apartment in a brownstone, so they did. My grandfather went to school and got a degree in accounting and started his own accounting firm in the city. As he made more money they bought more apartments in the building until, they finally just went to the owners of the building and offered to buy the rest of the place off them. They renovated and made their Brownstone home, they never left and never wanted to. They made it a safe place for our family to gather and everyone in the neighborhood knew my Grandfather and Nana, so no one ever bothered them. It was too big for Nana now that Grandpa is gone but she refuses to leave, it was the home they made together, so she won't leave.

I waited for my sister to come around the front of her Escape, so we could head up to the door together.  
"What do you think Nana wanted to talk about?" I shrugged.  
"My date, your kids, when I'm going to have kids, or anything else under the sun." She rolls her eyes at my sarcasm.  
"She sounded upset on the phone, not sad upset, just like something had made her cry." My eyebrows shoot up into my hairline.  
"You didn't tell me that!" I am now a little more concerned.  
"You know she's old, and more than a little crazy. No need to start panicking about an old women crying." Mary says as she starts up the stoop. 

We are waiting for Nana to answer the door patiently, and when she does, she is still crying.  
"What's wrong?" I ask as I lean in to hug my nana.  
"Who died?" Mary asks with a little more concern than she is showing. Nana pulls back from my hug and smacks the both of us. She looks a little annoyed with us.  
"Why do you two always seem to think that if I'm crying there is bad news? Or that someone has died?" I can feel Mary trying to suppress her giggles, she has always found Nana's annoyance or anger to be particularly funny.  
"Because that's generally why you are crying." I reply, with my sweetest smile. She smacks my arm again and moves to one side of the doorway so we can enter.  
"Oh hush. Get in the house before I decide to kick you off my stoop." I giggle at this and nod my head.  
"Yes Nana." Mary replies with as much respect as possible.

We are ushered into the dining room, and stop almost immediately in our tracks. The large eight foot dining table that is the center piece of the room is completely covered with pictures and boxes or pictures.  
"Where did all of these pictures come from?" Nana glances at Mary, and you can see the sass and sarcasm building inside of her before she replies.  
"I'm 92 years old. That's a long time to be collecting photos." I smile, because Nana's sassy side is one of the reasons we get along so well.  
"What were you looking for?" I ask, moving over to the table and moving some of the lose pictures around so I can look at them. Nana moves around the table, surprisingly well for a ninety two year old, and takes a seat, before answering my question.  
"I had a folding picture frame of sorts that was made of cloth. It had four pictures in it. During one of the last renovations your grandfather and I did before he died, it got packed up and I've never been able to find it." Mary and I moved next to her and started to grab boxes of photos to look through. We find old pictures and hold them out to Nana asking who they are and what the story behind it is. It's a rather relaxed morning. We are about ready to break for lunch when Mary speaks up.  
"Is this what you were looking for?" Mary is holding an olive green, faded, and banged up cloth paper picture frame. You can see where it opens up and it has definitely seen better days. Nana reaches for it and opens it up to the first photo.  
"Yes! Oh my, it's been so long since I have seen these photos." Nana caresses the picture of a young man in uniform, and smiles lightly.  
"Who is he, Nana?" I ask, I think I know the answer but want confirmation. She looks up at me with the fondest smile.  
"This is your Grandfather." I lean in and take a closer look at him, the man in the picture looks so different from the man I remember.  
"This picture was taken in 1941, after your Grandfather got his orders that he was shipping out to the war in Europe. So maybe a few days after the bombing of Pearl Harbor. This portrait is the one your Great-Grandparent's had taken of him." You could see the memories swimming in the back of her mind.  
"He looks so young!" Mary's voice is full of awe of the photo.  
"He was young, only 21! But I have another photo of him, the day he enlisted. 17 years old and he enlisted with his parents' permission. He wanted to contribute some money to his family, they didn't have much back then." Nana tells us with such pride in her voice, and she opens the frame a little more and reveals another picture which makes me freeze. If I hadn't known better I would have sworn the woman in the photo was me.  
"Is that you, Nana?" I ask, she is just smiling at me with her expression filled with pride. Mary is looking between Nana and I trying to compare me to the living women sitting in between us.  
"Yes, the day I received my uniform, after I enlisted in the Army Nurse Corps. I went down and volunteered just hours after we received the news about what was happening in Hawaii. Your Grandfather and my parents were not too happy, but they didn't try and stop me. I was already a nurse at the time, and I knew they would need experienced nurses, nothing would have stopped me from volunteering." Neither Mary or I had ever heard this story before, she was an extraordinary woman. We look at her photo for a few more minutes, before I break the silence.  
"I thought you and Grandpa were married before the both of you left for the War?" She just nods and turns another page in the frame to show another two photos.  
"We were." She points to the left photo. "This was taken by my parents at city hall. The day your Grandfather and I got married. Neither of our parents were pleased with the fact we weren't getting married in the church by a priest. But your Grandfather had two days before he left, and he wasn't going to leave without being married to me first." Nana's fingers ghost over the picture and a single tear falls down her face.  
"I love him as much to day, as the day I married him, if not even more." Mary and I lean our heads on Nana's shoulders. The picture is a little informal and kind of grainy. An old photo taken from a home camera, how they had gotten a hold of a camera, I don't know. But you can see both Nana and Grandpa's faces, both look so happy and in love. They are both in uniform and they have their arms wrapped around each other, looking as sweet together as I have ever seen them.

I look over at the last picture and tilt my head to get a better look.  
"What's this?" Mary beats me to the punch, just as curious as I am. Nana's smile takes on a sad tinge, and droops a little.  
"This one was taken about three day after your grandfather was rescued from a HYDRA Base, in Italy." This rings a bell in my mind and I move to take an even closer look at the photo.  
"Is that who I think it is?" I am staring at the last photo trying to make sense of the photo.  
"Yes. That is Captain Steven Rogers, he single handedly went behind enemy lines and saved the majority of the 107th from continued imprisonment." Nana's smile is wavering and tears are threating to fall down her cheeks.  
"We know the story Nana. Every child that has ever been the US education system, knows that story." Mary responds while handing her a tissue.  
"Why didn't you tell us about this?" I ask gently, not wanting to upset her more than she already was. She takes a few deep breaths and wipes the tears from her eyes.  
"Because, it's been over 50 years. And despite what I may say, my memory isn't what it used to be. I couldn't remember if it actually happened or if it was just something my mind invented." Her voice is still wavering and it breaks my heart. "I wish I would have said something to him. He gave me back so much, my best friend and husband. I just want him to know that I am so grateful." She leans back in her chair and rests her hands in her lap. In this moment she looks so frail and vulnerable. More so than I have ever seen her before.

Mary is holding the frame now and tracing her fingers over the photo.  
"What were you doing there?" She says as she looks up from the photo. Nana blinks for a few minutes, searching her memory for the answer.  
"My nursing unit was the closest to the base camp, when the call went out for more nursing units. So we packed up our camp and hauled ass, to help out. I had no idea you Grandfather would be one of the men who would need medical attention." I let a laugh slip out, neither my sister nor I had ever heard our Nana curse until this moment. I leaned over closer to my sister to get another look at the picture and leaned my head on her shoulder. From my vantage point next to my sister I look at both the picture and Nana, even though she is smiling and cracking jokes, I can see a change has come over her. Her smile doesn't reach her eyes, and her mind seems so far away.  
"What did Grandpa do when he saw you?" I speak up trying to draw her mind away from what appear to be rather uncomfortable thoughts, almost painful it appears. She looks over at me and a fond, genuine smile crosses her face.  
"When our eyes met in that camp, it felt like the entire world stopped spinning. There was the love of my life, I hadn't seen him for over a year, standing there in front of me. We pushed through the crowd of people between us, because none of them were as important to us as each other in that moment. We made quite the scene when he decided to lay one on me right there in the middle of the camp, in front of god and everybody. Colonel Phillips, the Commanding officer in the camp, tried to tell us off." Her face is completely lit up with love and happy memories as she tells us the end of the story.  
"And I still remember what your Grandfather said to this day, it's not something you forget. He said, 'This woman right here, she's my heart and soul. The one and only reason I've been fighting in this war, and I just came from a place where I thought I would never see her again. So respectfully Colonel, I don't give a damn what you are going to say. She is my wife and we will carry on how we damn well please.' I just laughed and held him tighter, we got to spend close to a week with each other before he was sent to London to recuperate a little more and we were needed elsewhere. That was the longest we saw each other, before the end of the war." When Nana sort of drifts off and stares into space, I look over at Mary and see a thoughtful look on her face.  
"How come we haven't heard this story before now?" Nana stops and thinks for a few minutes before answering the question. You can tell she is having a hard time deciding how to word her answer.  
"There are things in everyone's past they would rather forget. What happened to him and the other men while they were captured, well your Grandfather wanted to forget that more than anything." Nana moved towards the window from the side bar, where she had been making herself a cup of tea. She is staring out the window when she continues talking, "He never told me everything that happened, but he told me enough. By the time your Grandfather was at a place where he might have been willing to speak about that part of the war, he was so used to not talking about it, that it was never brought up."

Nana and Mary move onto speaking about other things related to their life during and after the war. While they talked I half-way listened, while continuing to look at the pictures laying on the table in front of me. All the different ones taken before, during, and after the war looking at the changes that you could visibly see in my Grandfather's face. There was a heaviness in his eyes after the war that hadn't been there before the war that had been caused in part by what he had seen and experienced during his time as a prisoner of war. I compare these photos of my Grandfather to the man I remember, the way his face would light up whenever he saw his grandchildren or children. In hindsight the heaviness was still there but, knowing him how I did he overcame that and lived a life full of love and happiness.

"What would you say to Steve if he was here right now?" I blurt out, not meaning to interrupt my sister and Nana's conversation, but I had been able to keep my mouth shut. Nana looks slightly startled, but that quickly fades to a deep thinking neutral expression.  
"I would say, 'Thank you. You gave my husband and me the chance for a life together, a family, a chance for love and happiness. And we did, we had 5 beautiful children, 23 amazing grandchildren, and 10 great-grandchildren. We had over 50 years filled with family, love, and happiness. We owe all of that to you.' It wouldn't be nearly enough, but that is what I would say." As Nana has been speaking I have written what she said on the back of a scrap piece of paper. After finishing writing I reach for the cloth photo frame, but before touching it I look up at Nana.  
"Can I borrow this for a little while? I promise to bring it back as soon as I can." A look of realization dawns on Nana's face, and she nods. 

Mary looks confused as I walk out to her car, when we leave Nana's home.  
"I get being grateful for what he did, but why do you feel the need to expressly thank him for doing what he did?" I sigh and try to find the words to explain. I don't even fully understand the need to tell Steve the stories I have just heard, or express the feeling of gratitude I feel at this moment.  
"When do you remember over a year ago, that fiasco that happened in Washington D.C., where SHIELD was destroyed? Pepper and I were talking a couple of months after it happened, she was telling me that Steve was searching for someone. Pepper likes to talk and ramble, so occasionally I tune parts of her rambling out, but I remember her saying something about by finding this person, in her opinion, be able to find some good in what he has done." I sigh, my thought and feeling running through my head in a big jumble that is hard to decipher.  
"How could he not see the good that he has done? I mean kept a bomb from being dropped on New York City, by crash landing the plane he was flying. That alone makes him a hero, but then he goes and saves the city again 50 some odd years later form an alien invasion!" I nod in agreement.  
"But what I assume he is seeing right now, is the organization he worked so hard for since coming back, turns out was under the control of one of the most evil organizations in the history of mankind. This is of course just speculation, but it makes sense right, that these would be valid feelings." Mary just stares at me for a short period of time, before reaching out her hand to tuck a stray piece of hair behind my ear. She rests her hand on my cheek, and smiles at me.  
"I forget sometimes, that as much as you analyze the world around you, you also see the world just like the rest of us. Full of living breathing people, who are filled with emotion and complication." I brush her hand away, and move towards the street, needing time to myself to sort myself out.  
"Enough of the mushy stuff! You head home, I'll take a cab. You don't need to try and make it to The Tower and back uptown to your house."

I flag down a cab, and as I am stepping into it I wave to my sister. Movement in a window of Nana's house catches my eye, and I see Nana watching me with a watery smile on her face. She blows me a kiss as I close the door to the cab, and it drives away.

**I wanted to explain a little about why I am writing Steve like this, it is a perfectly reasonable assumption that after seeing HYDRA come back after surviving in SHIELD, he might start to question the good he has done. Natasha voiced this concern during Winter Soldier. I think that at the time  
Steve had to focus on taking down SHIELD, but after that he would have time to reflect.  
So this might have been a problem. **

**Also I'm not saying that Bucky being Steve's best friend, is not the reason he is trying to find the Winter Soldier. But that in a big picture point of view, Bucky represents all of the good Steve did fighting  
during WWII, one of the main things that turned Steve Rogers into Captain America, was  
deciding to disobey orders to find and save Bucky and the rest of the 107****th****.**

**This is just one opinion and idea. If you don't like it that's fine, but this chapter shows a side of Iris that we haven't really seen, in the need to try and help everyone, even if it isn't normally within her ability.**

**Thank you for reading! Please take a couple seconds and give me your opinion on the story!**


	13. Chapter 13

**I would really like to apologize for the long time between chapters. My life got extremely busy and I didn't have time to write, but I am back!**

**I hope you enjoy this chapter, and hope that if you do indeed like my story, maybe sending me a little love in the reviews. Or if you have any suggestions those are more than welcome as well.**

Ch.13 My Family Owes All Our Happiness To You.

New York City hustles and bustles. People constantly moving and making deals. It's a melody as old as the city itself. I stare at it when I need to clear my mind, seeing the people moving about their lives has always been soothing to me. I'm anxious as I wait for Steve to arrive in my office. What had seemed like a good idea so recently, now made me wonder if I was doing the right thing. Almost as soon as that uneasy feeling creeps up on me, images of my smiling happy family flash across my mind's eye. While my mind may be nervous, my heart is as calm as it has ever been. A war between my heart and head, has become a major issue in my life. In my younger years my heart and head worked in tandem making decisions, but more recently my head had taken over my body in a hostile takeover. This would be the first time in over five years that I would be making a decision on what my heart was telling me to do.

My rather deep contemplation is interrupted by a knocking on my office door.  
"Come in." I call over my shoulder, I watch the reflection in the window to see who is walking in my door.  
"You wanted to see me?" A small uncertain smile crosses my face as I see the six foot tall blond step through my door. I turn to face Steve and try to look reassuring and calm. I gesture to the seating area in the corner of my office and move towards it at the same time as Steve.  
"I'm not sure exactly what you want to talk to me about, but I'm happy to help you in any way that I can." I chuckle softly, as I take a seat across from Steve in a mahogany leather chair.  
"It's not so much what you can do for me, but what I would like to share with you." I smile, and reach for the picture I have left on the coffee table between us, I hold it so that he can see the first photo.

"My Nana looks pretty good for being over 90 years old, but there are times when my family and I can see the years hanging so heavily on her." I look away from Steve's gaze and trace my hand over the edge of the frame. "She taught me so much about life, respect, and how to be happy with yourself. She taught me that family comes first, no matter what."  
"Well that's good, I'm glad you had such a good role model. But I'm not quite sure what this has to do with me." I can feel his gaze drilling into the top of my head as I stare at the photo frame in my hands. I feel my anxiety rising, sharing personal or private moments of my life is not my strong suit. So I tell him that and the look of understanding on his face relaxes me a little.  
"You know there is at least one guy I know of that would be extremely willing to listen if you needed to talk." I smile at Steve.  
"Yeah, I know Sam is a pretty good listener when he wants to be." Steve looks confused for a second and then chuckles a little bit as he comes to a realization.  
"Okay, make that two people. I was referring to Barton." I feel the strange shaky feeling in my stomach, i always feel when someone mentions his name. I need to shift this conversations direction before I lose control of this situation. The only way this conversation will happen, is if I have my control. So I open the frame and show him the first two photos, and point to the first photo.  
"This is my grandfather, he enlisted in the Army when he was seventeen, with his parents' permission. At 21 he was shipped out and sent to fight in Europe. He wanted to serve his country, and then come back home to the woman he loved, and start a family." I point to the second photo, "This photo here is of that woman, my Nana Iris. You met her the other night. She was a nurse in the Army Nurse Corps. She spent most of her first year overseas tending to men in Italy fighting." Steve has been staring at the two photos the entire time I have been talking. I can see the faintest glimmer of recognition in his eyes. I can also see that he doesn't know why he remember those two faces.  
"My grandfather and nana married a few days before, the two of them shipped out. They spent a little over a year separated from each other. At the time they didn't know how close they came to never seeing one another again." I look at Steve and catch his eye, wanting to look him in the eye as I told this next part of my family history. "You see my grandfather caught captured and was held behind enemy lines. Every time the Allied forces tried to stage a rescue mission, the beaten back and the mission failed. Until one Army Captain, with absolutely zero experience, disobeyed orders and saved his whole unit. This guys was just some scrappy little kid from Brooklyn, same as my grandfather, but he saved so many freaking people." The look of realization that is flashing across Steve's face is almost indescribable. Because it's not just one emotion, it's joy, sadness, confusion, anger, and so many other emotions.  
"Sometimes I feel like that was one of the few truly good things I have done. I mean look at what has happened because I came back into the world. So many horrible things have happened because of me."  
I am completely frozen by his words, I can't move. I can barely breathe. The level of self-loathing that was put behind those words is astonishing.  
"Do you realize how many people have gotten second chances at life because of you?!" What I wanted to come calm and collected, turned slightly screechy towards the end. But still I continue, I open the frame to a different section and show him the last two pictures. "You saved my grandfather's life, he got a second shot at life. My Nana wouldn't have been the same woman without him in her life, they balanced each other and loved each other, through the good times and the bad." I feel like I am pleading for Steve to understand.

I stand up suddenly and sprint to my desk and without even looking, I grab the one picture frame off my desk. I shove that frame into Steve's very surprised face and force him to look at the photo.  
"Not only did you give people a second chance at life, so many of these people in this frame you gave a first chance. You gave them a chance to be born, and make an impact on the world for the better." Steve took the family portrait from my hands, it was a picture of the entirety of my dad's side of the family. All of my aunts and uncles, cousins, husbands and wives. Children, grandchildren, and even a few great-grandchildren. I sat and told Steve about them for a couple of hours, it was only towards the end that I noticed the look of deep concern etched on his face.  
"Why are you crying?" I touch my face and realize I must have been crying for a long time. I can feel the dried tear trails as well as the new damp ones, streaked across my face. The desperation that I have felt building since I had heard the story come from my Nana's mouth, has nearly reached a boiling point. I feel rage, and grief, and hatred. All for myself. This man in front of me and risked so much and I had nearly wasted his gift. He didn't understand. He didn't know what I had nearly done so long ago. I had wanted for someone to understand all of this for so long, yet I didn't want tell anyone because I didn't believe that anyone could understand. I am barely keeping hold of my tightly wound control, when I feel Steve's had close over mine, and work my hand open to remove my nails from the palm of my hand. I look up from the deep crescent shaped wounds, into Steve's eyes and see the concern resting there.

That concern on his face unleashes everything that had been building up inside of me. How my Nana's story had triggered something deep in my subconscious. It had flipped every negative emotion I had ever had and turned it on myself. I told him how happy my Nana had been telling this story, and how horrible it had made me feel. How my mind had latched on to the idea of telling him this story. Telling him how grateful my family was for what he had done. He had given my family a chance at life, past, present, and future. I then proceeded to tell him how I had nearly thrown it all away. That after Roger had died, I had gotten depressed and then suicidal. I told him how for the longest time my family hadn't let me talk about those feeling and I had just started bottling them up and pushing them down. Eventually I just dissolved into a crying mess, I kept apologizing over and over again. I became like a mantra until, he eventually calmed me down.

"You have nothing to apologize for, your family has some serious apologizing to do, but not you." I draw a long shuddery breath and look at Steve, all uncertainty gone from his face, all I can see in it is calm and strength.  
"I have never seen someone so strong and determined to help others. Even when facing the staggering weight of your own problems." I scoff and then realize I am now sitting practically in the lap of Captain America. So I move away, and try to regain at least a little bit of my composure.  
"Yes, it's so admirable, to see someone try and fail so miserably to help. Especially, when they turn into a weepy mess." I rub furiously at my eyes trying to remove the excess moisture from them.  
"You didn't fail. You showed me a small part of some of the good I have done. You showed me the effect of my actions in the world. People since I've got back have been showing me old news reel, and have tried showing me numbers and figures, to show the good I have done. But not a single person had thought to show me the human perspective, but you." I tried to school my features back to the composed and polished look, I normally wore.  
"Well, I am glad I could help." I say in a quiet, almost withdrawn tone that I don't recognize coming from myself. We sit in silence for a while, trying to figure out where to do from here. I don't look at Steve, all of the personal things I have just shared with him making me feel tiny and vulnerable.

I hear the couch shifting and feel Steve's presence move away. I glance at him out of the corner of my eye and see him moving towards the door of my office. He pauses just before he reaches the door and turns back to face me.  
"I know we really don't know each other, and I get the feeling that what just happened here isn't normal for you. But if you need to do that again, come find me. It's not healthy to keep all of that bottled up, you need to talk to someone. Everybody needs a friend to talk to once in a while." I turn my face from my hands and look at the gentle giant standing near the door way to my office.  
"Thank you Steve. I don't have many friends anymore, that I feel like I can talk to." He just nods and turns back toward my office door and walks out of it. I sigh and relax heavily into my couch, I hadn't expected this to happen today, and wonder silently what shift in the universe had set this string of events into motion. I could feel my life changing, without my consent and that terrified me. But a tiny voice in the back of my mind was whispering that this was the good kind of terror. The kind you got in haunted houses or on the first drop of a rollercoaster. This was the kind that left you breathless and lighting at the end.

I reached over to pick up the photo frame and looked at the last picture. Unlike the times before when I had looked at my grandparents in the picture, I looked at Steve this time. I sighed once again, before saying aloud,  
"My family owes all of our happiness to you, Steve Rogers. I really hope you know that."

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**Thank you for reading my story!**

**Another chapter should be posted next week!**


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